Your Inaction is Killing Black Women

Last week, I shared a Facebook status in regards to being cat-called by Black men.
While the catcalling has not stopped, I decided to explore how I felt about this crude interaction and why it hurts me more when Black men cat-call/street harass vs. any other racial group.
Cat-calling and street harassment is a huge deal in feminist circles because often times this puts the lives of women in danger. The violence that women face in and out of their homes or personal relationship is astounding. The CDC published a report quoting that 16 percent of women are murdered by strangers, and overwhelming 55 percent are murdered by former or current partners. However, Black women are documented to die at higher rates by the hands of their partners, and other kinds of homicides.
When I am walking to and from various places in my neighborhood, I worry that one day me ignoring a man or screaming “Leave me alone” could result in my death or being assaulted. My fear is not irrational, not when the statistics prove otherwise. There are disturbing accounts of Black women who have been murdered for simply rejecting a man’s advances. Many, of these men are Black.
My emphasis on the race of the man who catcalled me last week was not to just point out that he was Black. It was a cry for accountability of Black men who engage in the street harassment of Black women. It hurts more to see a man the same shade as me calling me names, and saying sexually explicit statements to me on the street. I feel open, vulnerable, raw, and unprotected because when it’s all said and done, I am fighting for you. Black women are fighting for you before even fighting for ourselves.
I have been stalked, I have been harassed at work, and while entering my apartment, I have been asked if he can come in and have sex with me. The list goes on and I have not seen this conversation prioritized because it is Black women who are talking about it. Our grievances are very readily heard and it might take a white woman to blast you all about it before you listen.
This can be misconstrued and sound really anti-Black, real quick, and I want to be clear in saying that that is not my goal here. I want Black men to hold themselves accountable.
The idea of holding Black men accountable and protecting Black women is multi-faceted. To begin with, police are not held accountable in protecting Black women. This is due to explicit biases of Black women being overly-sexualized. The Department of Justice states, “Stereotypes regarding African American women’s sexuality, including terms like ‘Black jezebel,’ ‘promiscuous,’ and ‘exotic,’ perpetuate the notion that African American women are willing participants in their own victimization.” We are often blamed for sexual violence against our bodies and the police do a piss poor job in doing their piss poor jobs.
Many of us do not want to weaponize the State against our men because white supremacy. For many of us, that is not an option. But even more so, the police are not interested in protecting Black women, so one could argue there was no option for us calling them in the first place.
Another reason is, all men, but particularly Black men understand that the consequence for sexually harassing/assaulting and cat calling Black women do not hold the same consequences for harassing White women or other racial groups. White women are protected and we are not. Why? As mentioned earlier, we are over sexualized and victim blamed for the violence that happens to our bodies. Racism and misogynoir is society’s excuse to disrespect our persons.
A Black man is not going to overtly harass white women because they understand the white woman’s privilege in being protected by not only the State but by other white men along with other racial groups. The consequences for Black men catcalling to white women is coated with themes of racial violence, no doubt, but it does not make way for excuses to subject Black women as disposable, and to parade around like a predator towards your own. This is a sickness that needs to be cut at the root if we expect ourselves to press towards total liberation.
If I hold any contempt for Black men it is that, in all of our protection of you, that protection is not reciprocated. In all of Black women’s rallying efforts to end state sanctioned violence against Black men, you all won’t even show up for us at rallies, rallies that boost visibility for a dire cause. Our bodies are being mangled in the system, and tossed up for grabs and where are ya’ll? Black men’s inaction to hold each other accountable is killing Black women.
Why is it that we find jokes around Black women and femmes walking past a group of [cis] Black men feeling terrified? Why do we rejoice in that? Why should we excuse that?
After speaking with a slew of Black women/femmes following my Facebook post, I learned that we are exhausted and many Black women are taking up the mantle of not caring for Black men. By “not caring” we mean, not expending energy on fighting for you when you refuse to fight for us, because you have to understand that that is killing us too. While our backs will never turn completely on you, understand that we have ourselves, our daughters and sisters to take care of too.
As I said in an interview with FemmeFeministe at ‘Wear Your Voice Magazine’, “Putting ourselves first as Black women/femmes is like returning to our first love.” “Putting ourselves first” looks like protecting ourselves.
Black men have to understand that in the fight against white supremacy, protecting Black women is an inevitable part of the struggle.
Eat this scroll. Teach your sons, brothers, lovers, uncles, husbands, et cetera to protect and respect Black women. We have work to do.
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