Fluffy’s 10 Steps To World Domination.
Ruff-ruff!!! Hello humans! I’m glad to report my plan for world domination is on track. Soon you will be chanting my name while bowing down. Be sure to order your comfy knee pillows now already. Scraped knees from bowing is a bad look.
Every leader needs a plan. Being cuddly and cute just won’t cut it. If it did, then you humans would have had replacement knee caps by now from all the bowing. So what is holding the cats and dogs back from total world domination? I worked out a 10 step plan to see if I can succeed.
Fluffy’s World Domination Plan
1. Target a human, the only dog lover in the house and follow her everywhere. She will soon love me and do anything for me. Check!
2. Once the human Renza loves me, she’ll share pics of me all over social media and introduce me as her new cute puppy. Check!
3. Go one step further and mind control my human to write down all my thoughts on her blog and make everyone fall in love with me. Check!
4. Help the human grow my followers…I mean our followers. Let Buffy in on my brilliant plan and convince him to join forces. Check!
5. Buffy, who is a fan favourite, writes about how I’ll be cloned because he’s now in on it. Not just a normal clone, but a cat-dog clone. That means not only dog people are reading our blog, but cat people too. Everyone wants their own Fluffy cat-dog clone. Check!
6. Me telling you all I’m going to be your leader and you’re thinking I’m the cutest and smartest leader ever. “Omgawd soooo cuuute”, you keep saying. Check!
7. All my followers share me all over social media. Apparently social media is where everyone lives these days. Check!
8. I add subliminal messages in the shares that brainwash the humans. It spreads like a virus. One human sees the message and everyone they come into contact with gets infected.
9. Oops! Too late! You are all under my control now and you will do as I ask.
10. Every human, including the ones running countries get themselves a knee pillow and do some loyal bowing. From far and wide “Fluffy!” is chanted.
There it is! The perfect plan. As you can see, more than half of the steps have been completed already. Right now you’re probably smiling, laughing or just rolling your eyes, because your happy pills are up. Don’t worry eye rollers, I will win you over soon. My human Renza and Buffy have no interest in the throne. But I’m not them! QUEEN ME PLEASE!!! RUFF!!! RUFF!!
Job: Doing puppy stuff, part-time blogger
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting feet, hands, destroying everything in sight and cuddles
Dislikes: Baths, being picked up and self-cloning Needleman
Pic credit: Renza human took pics of me and edited. Main image is from Pixabay edited by her.
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Originally published at buffyandrenza.blogspot.com on April 4, 2017.