Hi My Friends,
I need to come clean. I’ve been hiding from you — a lot — and it’s time to get real. First, with myself. And second, with you.
If you find me on any of my other social media outlets, you won’t find this story. This is a story I’m only sharing as a blog… oh, and the audio version is on my podcast. No, those other outlets are for the “professional me”. The version of me that is still real, still honest, just a bit more polished so that I can earn the trust that’s needed to truly be of service in a world that still wants our consultants, coaches, and teachers to at least come across as if we have our act together.
Here, and on my podcast, I’m “letting my hair down” as they say because the reality is that we’re just as human as everyone else is. The difference though is that we are using our messy humanness to (try) to be of service to others; to take what we’re learning (all-too-often learned the hard way), and to transform it into something that might save others the hardship and heart-aches we’ve suffered.
Thing is, life keeps happening. There are ups and downs for us too. And sometimes, like this story reveals, we’re walking through our own total transformation, intentionally, and on purpose.
This journey for me started on August 30, 2019. That was the day I walked away from the life I’d known up to that point. I drove away from my partner of 4.5 years with nothing but what would fit in my car. I walked away from the business that had been my income with no backup plan.
It hurt. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
But something in me told me I had to.
It was the biggest leap of faith I’ve ever taken… and it hasn’t all unfolded yet.
After leaving, I spent a few days in Portland, Oregon with a friend. Then, I drove south to Bandon, Oregon to house-sit for a couple and take care of their two cats for a month.
I arrived at the house-sit on Wednesday, September 4, 2019. The homeowners were incredibly warm and welcoming. They provided a home-cooked meal of vegetarian soup, walked me around the property, and introduced me to Chaz and Nina, their two cats. They took the time to make sure the house was clean, and left me some wonderful leftovers in the fridge to enjoy. They left for their trip early on Sept 5, 2019… and the real journey began.
As I write this now, it’s Day 20 of this journey. But, I’ll post these in order so that you can truly come along for the ride, if you choose to.
Why did I wait?
Because the first couple of weeks were the hardest. I began the video documentation on Day 1 thinking that I’d just do it for myself so that I could remember what it was really like one day when I look back at all I’d put myself through.
But as someone who is building a business coaching women through transition, I began to think that maybe it might help someone, somewhere, to know my story.
Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. Maybe I will “make it” someday and this will all be here for those who don’t believe that I was once such a hot mess. Maybe I just want the quote I found on Facebook one day to be true:
“Tell your story.
Shout it. Write it.
Whisper it if you have to.
But tell it.
Some won’t understand it.
Some will outright reject it.
But many will
thank you for it.
And then the most
magical thing will happen.
One by one, voices will start
whispering, ‘Me too.’
And your tribe will gather.
And you will never
Feel alone again.”
-L. R. Knost
I don’t honestly know the why behind it all.
All I know is that, yet again, something inside of me is saying, “just share”.
So, I am.