Eight Words That Completely Changed My Day

I woke up this morning one minute before my alarm was scheduled to go off. The baby was crying. It’s almost as if he started crying on cue. No mommy. Don’t go back to work today, mommy. Stay at home with me, mommy.

Today is my first day back at work. It’s so hard to believe that I’m even saying those words out loud. This isn’t exactly how I pictured my life going.

When I found out I was pregnant with baby number three, it was a total shock. I was already 16 weeks pregnant, and at the same time that I went to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy (although the little pooch in my belly was confirmation enough), I also found out soon after that I was having a boy.

My third boy.

I can’t lie, it was a little bit of a disappointment to find out I was having another boy. I was pretty content with my two boys at the time, and we really weren’t even trying to have a third child, but when I found out I was pregnant, I honestly thought this was God’s way of giving me the gift of having a little girl. Like a sweet little surprise delivery with a little pink bow on top, I believed this surprise pregnancy was meant for me to have a girl.

My heart was set on having a girl. I had a name and everything. So when I heard the news that I was having a boy, I was sad. I cried that day. Not only was I not prepared to bring another baby into this world, I also wasn’t prepared to be a mom of three boys.

Another thing I wasn’t prepared for was being a working mom of three. From the moment I found out I was having another baby, I just assumed that I would quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom — because that’s what you do when you have three kids, right? You quit your job, because who wants to pay to have three children in daycare? Not me.

I had it all planned out. After the baby was born, I was going to quit working. I told everyone I knew that I was planning on leaving. But at the same time, I also started to feel really confused. I didn’t have any peace about leaving. It also didn’t make financial sense for me to leave my job. Plus, my husband wasn’t completely on board with me leaving my job also due to the financial stuff. And pretty soon, I started to blame him for me being so confused about what I should do.

It took me a while, but after crying about a thousand tears, I finally decided that the best (and right) thing for me to do was to go back to work. It was a decision that I made with a heavy heart, but once I finally made the decision, I felt free.

Looking back over that time, I can see that I made a lot of assumptions. I made a lot of guesses about what I thought my life should look like with three kids. I had about a million “this is what I want to do with my life” moments. But never once do I recall having a moment where I just sat back and asked, “God, what do you want for my life? What do you want me to do? Where are you leading me?”

Actually, I do remember having a short conversation with Him about it. It went a little something like this.

ME: “God, I really want to stay at home. I’m going to have three kids now and I’m tired of missing out on moments with them just so I can get up and go to work every day. Plus, my work is so far from home. I spend more time in the car and at work than I do with my kids. So it just makes sense to stay at home with them. Plus, this is what I really want. Do you agree?”

GOD: “I — ”

ME: “Okay, great. I mean, you put this desire in my heart so it must be from you, God. Now I just need for you to change my husband’s heart. Help him to see that I need to stay at home. Help him, Lord!”

And that was the extent of our conversation.

Fast forward to today.

I still don’t think I’ve really had that conversation with Him because having that conversation with Him means that I will have to surrender what I want for myself — and right now I’m feeling like I want to stay at home with my kids.

But that’s not what’s happening right now. Right now I am preparing to go back to work, and as much as I’ve been fighting this, I need to embrace this new season in my life if I want to have any peace.

So, this morning, I could feel myself getting all down. This is so not how I pictured my life, was my first thought. I can’t believe I’m actually going back to work.

For whatever reason, negative thoughts tend to hit me the hardest right when I wake up in the morning, which is why I have started saying 10 positive and uplifting “I Am” statements every morning, and this particular morning was no different.

I am content.

I am happy.

I am blessed.

I am thankful.

Oh gosh, I feel like I’m just repeating the same things I always say. I need something more, especially today.

I gave myself a few seconds to think of something else. Something I haven’t said before, and then it hit me.

I am satisfied with my lot in life.

Yes. That’s it. Those words struck a chord with me and I had to say it again and again and again.

I am satisfied with my lot in life.

Woo, there is power in those words.

Those eight words completely changed the course of my day. I woke up with an expectation that I would be unhappy or full of regret having made the decision to return to work, but those eight little words — I am satisfied with my lot in life — completely changed me for the better.

After speaking those words out loud, a wave of peace washed over me. A new comfort came upon me that I had not felt in a very long time.

This is my time. This is my season to embrace the will of God for my life. It doesn’t make sense to my natural mind, but my heart is at peace. My mind is at ease.

I’m learning that it’s not always enough to read or write positive articles and posts. It’s also not enough to simply think positive thoughts. Those positive thoughts must be turned into words, and sometimes those words need to be said over and over again until our mind catches up to what our mouth is saying.

Words have incredible power, but those words must first be spoken in order to effect in real change in our lives.

Today I not only read, think and write but I declare out loud: I am satisfied with my lot in life. The boundary lines for my life have fallen in a good place for me. All of my needs, wants and desires are fulfilled. I am fully satisfied with my lot in life and I lack no good thing. Amen!