Redefining Me: life after a mid-life divorce

I’m a 50 year old woman who is learning how to live and love again. In 2010, at the age of 44, I divorced my husband of 18 years (we were together a total of 24 years). It was a contentious, ugly divorce and to this day, we do not get along, which is incredibly sad. For 15 of those years, I was blessed with the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom for our two children while my husband worked as a Specialty Pharma Rep. While I loved being able to hang out with my kids, I ended up losing my own sense of self and personal identity. I hadn’t finished my college degree and didn’t have a clue as to what type of career I would eventually have once my youngest graduated from high school (2017 — yay!). Flash forward to 2010: I received my Bachelor of Science diploma and finalized divorce decree on the same day (my divorce settlement was that my ex had to pay my tuition)! In 2014, I wrote an autobiography that ended up on the Amazon Hot New Releases List in the Motivational Books Category. The book is entitled: “Taking My Hand Out Of My Pocket”. I wrote it for me…to help me heal after decades of suffering from low self-esteem and depression. It might come across as being an amateur read to most, but that’s perfectly fine with me because I wrote it for myself so that I could finally begin to heal. Quick summary: I am biracial and as an infant, was adopted into an all white family and raised in an all white community with no other people-of-color within a 200-mile radius. That in itself is an interesting story. But added to that was the fact that at the age of 13, I was in a freak accident that resulted in the amputation of my lower right arm. Whew…add it all together and you get one messed up chick! After the publication of my book, I was blessed to to several motivational speeches and interviews which went a long way towards completing the healing process. Today, six years after my divorce and newly 50, I’m finally strong enough to know what I want to do with my life…what career path is best for me: I know that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of women like me in their 40s, 50s, or 60s who have found themselves divorced in mid-life. Who, for the majority of their adult lives were defined as “so and so’s wife” or “so and so’s mom”. Women who didn’t work outside of the home but devoted their time to raising kids and being the perfect wife. So…here we sit. Our kids have grown and are off tending to their own lives…what do we do next?? I am entering a graduate school of social work this fall and upon graduation — and throughout the next 20 months — my intention is to coach as many women as possible who are struggling to define themselves after divorcing in mid life. I’ll teach you serious stuff like how to budget if you don’t know how already (I taught myself after my divorce) and how to redefine yourself after decades of being a stay-at-home mom. We’ll talk about fun topics such as the trials and tribulation of dating in midlife (oy!), beauty secrets (I’m wrinkle free at 50!)and much more. Join me as we move forward into the future, addressing our weaknesses and fears and finding happiness, success and fulfillment! Peace

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