Today was a bad day. As a matter of fact it was a proper shit day. I didn't think it would be when i woke up sprawled across my bed. I actually thought ‘wow look at that bed head looks like i had pretty good snooze sesh’. I didn't know to that a few hours later he’d be slinging the chair across the floor for me to be screaming at his grandad hurling raw emotions at 90 mph hitting him hard.

‘Don’t you dare shout at me’..i mean what the f**k right. I’m now 41 this isn't 1990 where he could throw his weight around any more. It’s not gonna wash no more. I mean that religious guilt of not answering back …i just couldn't take it no more or much longer.

This BS facade they put on, he puts on reading day and night with zero action with zero remorse of a bloody past. Oh how they love to cover it up. Go in to denial of a troubled unethical past. And lo the minute you bring it up the hypocrisy of their double standards …whoaaaa its all down to you and any other woman that can be lambasted.

Culture sucks. Especially when we have been brain trained to never let anyone outside your four walls know its all broken. It sucks when you have to get up and put this face on that smiles perfection. You and your fantastic exciting job paying you enough to get by and your kids. When all you wanna do is scream I've had enough. Enough of your standards and lies. Enough of pretending its all okay. Enough of pretending we are okay with this religion when all i see is you follow empty rituals. And that's why i decided to write hoping that the religion i lost maybe i can find it again.

Welcome to Islam.