October 14th, 2016
I’m waiting for all the scent from the all-purpose cleaner I used in the bathroom to go away. I guess I used a little too much and now I have a slightly itchy nose and throat. Oh well!
So I’m just gonna take this time to write today’s reflection:
Most of my friends do not know this, but I am actually a clingy person. I may even be a jealous one at times. Maybe I’m just too good at hiding how I feel that’s why they can’t tell.
Being away from home and seing how some of my close friends get together every now and then really makes me feel kinda jealous. When my family forget to talk/chat with me I feel left out and start thinking that I’m unimportant. There was even a time after graduation when all of my college friends started working and we had no time to meet up and I felt kinda depressed that they don’t seem to long for the bond we once had during undergrad.
I also feel a little jealous knowing that my mentor now has a new favorite student/daughter. But of course, I’m too embarassed to admit it. It was also partly my fault why I feel disconnected from all the people I used to spend most of my happy moments with. I don’t wanna be labeled as too clingy or obsessed so I try to stay away and end up hurting myself instead, not knowing that I might have also hurt the people I avoided. I guess I’ll never know how they felt because now things are different. We can never be like how we were before. The special bond turned into ordinary and we are longer highly significant parts of each other’s lives.
Sad, I know. But I am hopeful I could still reestablish the good friendships I’ve built with some people someday. I promise to be more involved and try to put more effort in building meaningful and everlasting bonds with the important persons in my life.
Good night! ☺