How I’ve Learned To Become Memorable
Have you ever been in the situation where you know someone, but they don’t remember you? It used to happen to me often and every time it happened, it would hurt my feelings.
So I went on a mission to discover what one needs to do to become “unforgettable”. This is what I learned.
Lesson 1 — Entertain yourself, not others
I learned this lesson from my brother. He always laughs about the stupidest shit. It could be a gif depicting a squirrel falling from a tree, or funny lyrics, or a fart — his sense of humor is what you could call simple. The point is, he is constantly entertaining himself. Himself is key because he doesn’t do it for others. Everyone is welcome to join him and see what’s so funny, but he doesn’t try to make others laugh. If they do, cool. If not, then he has fun on his own.
By doing that others get drawn to him, and become curious why he has so much fun. Everyone wants to be around fun people. It adds value to their lives. Trust me, no one ever forgets the guy who made them laugh. But everyone forgets (or at least avoids) the clown who tried to be funny for two hours.
Have you started to entertain yourself, or are you still trying to entertain others?
Lesson 2 — Tag yourself, become memorable
People need a tag word that reminds them of you. I am known for Lovelifesolved.com and photography. When people talk about me they often say, “Julian, you know him, the photographer.” What do people know you for?
If you have no idea or would like to change your personal brand, I recommend you start getting serious about one thing in your life. It could be work, a hobby, a charitable activity, or whatever else you enjoy doing. Focus 100% on it and see how far you can take it. This will not only give you the best chance for a fulfilling career, but people will also affiliate you with your passion.
Lesson 3 — Be blunt, be controversial, be real
You can’t become memorable by always playing it safe. Everyone wants to be liked, and most people avoid conflict like the plague. But by doing that, you position yourself in the middle. Neither A, nor B. Neither black, nor white. People remember extremes, not mediocrity.
Speak your mind. Have an opinion, even if it might piss some people off. And disagree if you disagree. By doing that, you will instantly become more interesting and as a consequence more memorable.
Lesson 4 — Put on your talking hat
People will never remember the guy who just stands there and says nothing. You have got to participate actively in the conversation!
Ask questions, show interest, tell stories, share insights. Whatever you do, talk to people! In case you feel uncomfortable with that, make sure your social skills are up to date and start meeting and talking to new people as often as you can.
Lesson 5 — Be unusual
When someone breaks the cultural norms of daily life it draws a lot of attention. Just think of a naked guy in a restaurant to get the idea.
But there are also many ways to be positively different. The easiest is to prepare funny and interesting answers to standard questions like, “How are you?”, “What do you do?”, “Where are you from?”.
You will get asked these questions thousands of times throughout your life. So it makes sense to sit down for a few hours and prepare great responses.
Final lesson — Trigger emotions
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou
But how can you make others feel? Here are a few tips:
- Discuss heatedly.
- Show vulnerability.
- Fuck up and apologize.
- Make them laugh.
- Really listen to problems and dreams.
- Stroke egos with compliments and by asking for advice.
- In romantic situations: go for the kiss. Either it gets returned or you apologize and laugh about it.
- Tease, but always stay classy.
- Hug longer.
- Get drunk together.
- Use people’s first name more often.
- Tell stories, not just information.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Look at others from afar and smile once they spot you.
- Be brutally honest.
- Wink in case it doesn’t look stupid on you.
- Touch more.
- Use fewer words and easier sentences but express them with more emotion.
- Include those people that the “cool folks” exclude.
- Be unexpectedly helpful and courteous.
What else could you do to become more memorable? Share your ideas in the comments.