Ever wanted to be naked on camera WITHOUT sucking off a random guy you don’t know?

Well, let me tell you my nice story (with a very happy ending) about how one “ethical erotica” company actually changed my life and made me love myself again.

Dear Future Model,

Have you imagined modelling nude while being treated like you matter and that you are more than just a sexual object?

Have you wanted be happy with your natural look, on film, without having tons of makeup on you while shooting?

Have you wanted to have a great time posing, maybe having real orgasms, and get paid pretty well too?

Despite some early bad experiences with amateur nude modelling, I discovered that you can have all of the above, for real. I know, because I’ve done it, with a company called Abby Winters, who I came across a few years ago while browsing amateur modelling offers online.

Of course I was suspicious, and I googled the shit out of them. But I found nothing to fuel my suspicions further, or cause me any concern. So I applied.

And this is what happened:

Okay, well that’s not what happened immediately. There’s actually a great story leading up to that moment.

Ready?

You must know that before Abby Winters, I was modelling (mostly) non-explicitly as a hobby, and to see different sides of myself, and show the world what I am capable of. When I first decided to try nude modelling, I had a few bad experiences with amateur photographers harassing me sexually. But I also had good experiences too, so I didn’t give up on my hobby.

As a broke Dutch student who loved art, I was browsing the web one day, looking for my next photo opportunity, and I found something that would change my life: Abby Winters.

In fact, what I found was the company’s model recruitment site, Female Photo Fun.

Doing shoots with Abby Winters was always super fun and playful.

It’s a website full of natural and confident looking woman.

It was filled, too, with a lot of information, and as I said before, I googled everything to see if it was all real.

Everything checked out. This was exciting.

I had a boyfriend at the time, and I discussed if he would feel comfortable with me applying for explicit modelling.

He said yes, so I applied online.

Sometime later, I guess it was a week or so, I got an email back from them to schedule an appointment for an info session. My boyfriend went with me to their offices in Amsterdam, about an hour from where I live. This way I could share all my thoughts with him directly on our way back.

The office Abby Winters had then was in a nice building in the centre of the city. When I arrived, I rang the bell and they opened the door and invited me in.

There were a lot of iMacs on people’s desks, and I remember on the walls they had gigantic posters of their photos printed on canvas, like paintings.

As we sat down to talk, they told me they would film the conversation to see if I doing this voluntarily and not being pushed by anyone to sign up for this. Right away, their concern for my wellbeing put me at ease.

In the back of my mind, I had a worry that this might be a fake casting interview with a guy that you need to fuck and suck. That fear evaporated.

They will look at your body to see if plastic surgery was done, ’cause they are all about “all natural.” They also might ask about scars and so on. Nothing invasive, nothing awkward.

The interview took around 30 minutes.

I didn’t have to sign anything, and they gave me a lot of info about the shoots, about payments and about how they would treat me.

They said, “If you are not feeling right the day of your shoot, or there is something you do not want to do, no worries, just tell us. All we want is you too feel comfortable.” I think this level of comfort is clearly visible in the company’s videos and photos.

My first scheduled shoot was a solo nude shoot.

It’s always like this, and they do this on purpose, because it gets you used to the idea to be naked on a camera with crew, and keeps you from feeling any pressure to do more than you want to.

Not even masturbating happens on the first shoot, let alone sex (which they only shoot with model’s actual boyfriends anyhow).

Over several years, I did a total of 10 shoots with Abby Winters before becoming a full-time student and mother.

On shoot days, I always had to make sure I packed a lot of bright, colourful clothes. Which was kind of hard at the time since I had mostly had black clothes, but that has changed now! Their aesthetic sense has influenced mine. And I guess it was the perfect excuse for shopping. :)

Medium won’t let me show you the more explicit shots… so use your imagination ;)

They always made sure I was groomed well and feeling my best.

Contracts were signed after the shoot — a model release form and contract for modelling services — and they always sent a copy in the email.

They also had me create a bio, using my model name not my real name, and I made some texts and drawings with a rainbow palette of colours about how I felt and what I was excited about.

One great thing about modelling for Abby Winters is that sometimes you meet other models on the set, from all around the globe. They share their experiences in life and modelling, and it is eye opening.

And you can keep in touch with other models if you want to, or message them on the discussion boards!

I made some really good friends while modelling for Abby Winters.

I also received gifts from fans and very sweet cards, and chatted with them on the boards. I gave them a little peek into my life with some photos and updates about how I spent my days. They always had kind words for me and were careful while giving any feedback. As a model, you don’t have to do this, but I found it enhanced my own experience. I felt that I was part of a community rather than just that my photos were posted on the web somewhere.

Since I got into talking with the fans, I have also done some “Playdates” with them. During a Playdate, you go online live with your webcam and talk to your fans and give them a show where you are totally allowed to have an orgasm!

Again, you don’t have to do Playdates, but for me, hearing the sweetest things from fans, and being able to connect with them in a way that’s both intimate and safe, and to read what they like, has been a perfect opportunity feel a very warm and unusual type of human bond.

Both the Abby Winters crew and fans have made me feel like I belong, that I am someone special, and that I have the world at my feet. I have also learned a lot about equipment and technical aspects of photography.

Abby Winters uses both women and men as shoot producers.

Especially after the unpleasant experiences I’d had early on in my amateur modelling explorations, working with Abby Winters made me love myself again.

Now, let us love you for who you are! Please apply! And then maybe I’ll see you on the message boards. :)

Love,

Lotte

PS There was always a lot of fun behind the scenes, just messing around, like me in the bathtub here:

PPS All photos here (with me in them) are really of me, and Abby Winters has given me permission to publish them along with my story to encourage women to become models with their company. I hope that many future models will read this and feel more comfortable to apply and have a great experience like me.