I’ve been on Facebook for eight years now, and in the course of this online journey, I’ve seen many a relationship blossom, and many wither. I’ve seen relationship statuses move from ‘Single’ to ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Married’ to joint accounts, to a revival of solo accounts, with ‘It’s complicated’, to one disappearing, and the other putting on a brave face, and staying on. Then, another summer, another love, a romance unfolds, a relationship folds, such is the cycle of our social lives.

This brings me to the concept of marriage in the modern age. But let me start with this, as how I understand it…when you are married to someone, bound by a common liking of each other, the wedding in itself becomes a public proclamation of…

“Hey, we’re in this together for the long haul!”

And for marriage, we say, it means more, because it’s in the eyes of god. Though it’s not like god was blocking eyes, being the all knowing and all seeing divine power that is. Okay, enough of that. And so, rings are exchanged, names too, and you live together, spawning more of you’s.

Now back in the day, this was a way of showing commitment to each other, an assumed act of love, and of also telling the world that you are both spoken for. So in the eyes of god, and the law, you are being respectful to your faith, family, community, and each other, in the way that you are taking the relationship forward.

But in today’s world, where marriage is shorter than a divorce settlement, I have come to conclude, that relationships lived out online, is in fact, the marriage of the new age, a very public one, where everybody knows, and sees your acts and declarations of love, a romantic saga spanning many social networks.

“Yes, I don’t care if the whole world knows, toxins are alive to the sound of my beating heart, and I want to bang my chest about it.”

And man oh man, have I seen proclamations and dedications of love, that would have shook Shakespeare to shame. So much more than, ‘We’re in this shit together for the long haul’ or anything I’ve heard read out in marriage vows. It goes way past Drake’s lyrics, something more akin to attaining singularity in love, a merger of online selves, to live on in selfies, past the real self, captured in a digital snow globe, when we had the time of our lives, shortly before Pompeii.

Maybe I’m just bitter, at the hilarity of my single life. Singlelarity. I could be, but I’m no saint in relationships. It’s just that, I was pre facebook, in my time of love feels. So my actual records of falling in love and falling out of love, is safely away from digital eyes. Maybe Myspace, my poetry, is a glimpse, but that’s just a much more romanticised, sensationalised vent.

Though most may not see it, taking a relationship online, is a big step. It’s putting a relationship out there, on a platform, a declaration, and later on, the firing line, even if, all’s fair in love and war.

A long time ago, your early relationships would have been hearsay, if you chose it to be. To be young and impetuous, meant carefree, no one sees, no one’s taking notes, unless the law, and religious elders came into play. Hey, I said, a long time ago. Of course, nowadays, we are the ones keeping notes on ourselves, for everybody to see, with the fickleness of relationships, lived out, and loved out on social streams…

We are the masters of our content, and discontent.

It’s all recorded, like your mother, with her photographs and embarrassing stories of you, when you were young. Only this time, you’re doing it to yourself.

“Oh, why did I fall for that dumbass!”

“How could I have loved someone so cruel.”

Well, let me take you through your timeline, so I can exactly point out, how, when, and why. Oh, it’s all very simple these days. Bad memory? Don’t worry! We now have timelines as reminders, to take you right back to that time you bought a cactus together, a foretelling of a thorny time yet to come.

Yes, I’m no better, I write poetry, so I wear my heart on my sleeve. I also believe that love should be remembered for the moments it lived in, not for its death. That being said, whilst Tupac was a ‘Sucker for Love’, I’m seeing a whole lot of ‘Martyrs for love’.

And its mainly because, I don’t think everybody is prepared for what comes of being a writer. Writer you say? Well, we’ve all become writers in a sense, unwittingly writing, recording our own love stories, trials and tribulations, contributing content to our life’s story, for the world to see. What was once a private diary, is now a very public one. We record our memoirs live, and that’s putting yourself on the line, albeit, whilst toxins are flooding the chambers, and you’re drowning in revelry, something akin to drunk dialing. Or as Beyonce puts it, “Drunk In Love”, though in most cases it seems, it’s more a case of ‘Drunk In Lust”.

Tis a marriage of the new age.

“I went out one night, got drunk, woke up to find I was in a relationship with someone on Facebook with matching joint selfies as our profile pics.”

Yep, a modern day version of ‘his and her tattoos’, or as I would like to call it… a modern day Vegas Wedding.

I mean, a break-up over social networks can get even more messier than a divorce. Well, in essence, it’s the divorce of the new age. From horrible remarks and nasty pictures, to shares that should never ever be shared, is what could become of a bitter ex on a social network.

Remember… Ye who changeth the password first, on joint social accounts, is the victor.

“You take Facebook, they’re mostly your friends, I’ll take Twitter, they mostly follow because of me.”

Yes, my digitally aligned homo-sapiens, we are now living in an age where love letters are open declarations, and letting your partner audit your online friends, is an act of (insane) trust, and in extreme cases, giving your password, is the ultimate act…of mad love.

Each day, a new digital Romeo & Juliet is born, committing social suicide, in the name love. So in the future, when your offspring asks, was there anyone before mummy and daddy? You point them to google.

And so, with love in a time of big data, and social networks being the Alma Mater, erasing digital history, will become a big business of the future. I guess, that’s why some youth are moving away from Facebook, towards Snapchat and others like it, to avoid themselves being caught out, by their own unconscious monitoring and recording of their lives.

So be careful out there kids, or don’t be, either way, it’s just my ramble, a somewhat contradictory low key rant, from a just as lost in digital space lad.

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

… even if it ends up hell on a social network.

Let me leave you with Candi Staton’s heart song ‘Young Hearts Run Free” … (Damn you Carlito’s Way, Gail, and that soundtrack)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VAK3-CqbhA