25 Reactions to 25 Life Tips During a 10 Minute Break

Ooo another Life Growth article to help me upstart my life — alrighty, 5 minute read — perfect, 10 minute morning tea — 5min to read, and then 5min to reflect… On the latest Batman v Superman trailer…

  1. Struggle is good

Thank god for that.

2. Don’t complain

Done, no more complaining.

3. Spend time with people you love

Great, after work, and after training, I am spending time with family. Shit it would be nice if I had more time to — oop, sorry #2.

4. Don’t start a relationship if you’re not in love

Hmmm this might be a snake chasing its tail scenario… How do you find out you’re in love without starting a rel- Doesn’t matter, #1, we got this!

5. Exercise daily

Alright, now you and #3 just need to work together and try find ti- Oop ok, next one…

6. Keep a journal

Oh beloved internet, you are thy journal.

7. Be grateful

Thank you for the builders working so earnestly early on Sunday mornings.

8. Don’t care what people think

Oh yes, finally time to dust off my ill-fitting schoolboy sporting apparel.

9. Take more risks

I will. I will use the coffee cup at the back of the communal kitchen cupboard.

10. Pick an industry, not a job

Ha, just when I thought the hierarchy of pricks above me couldn’t get bigger, let’s expand it further!

11. Lead the way

I once did a haka in front of the Australian cricket team in a bar — no one followed.

12. Money isn’t important

I knew it, I knew the whole concept of economics was just a load of shit — Now if I could just convince my landlord, my insurance policy, my gym, etc. Get off my back #2.

13. Be nice

Ahh, I see you and #7 get on rather well, but now you mention it, I guess my boss’ repeated work stories do get funnier every time he tells them… **teeth grinding**

14. Learn every day

Why thank you daily newspaper quiz, don’t mind if I do.

15. Rest before you are tired

Nothing like watching three quarters of a Sunday night blockbuster premier, then going to bed to let the mind rest… No wasted energy wondering how he/she could be the same person over multiple timelines… None at all… Fuck it, where’s the remote?

16. Don’t judge

Hmmm, too late, I’ve already made it to #16, I have to keep going now…

17. Think about others

Why aren’t you indicating you fucking idiot?

-Uh oh, here comes the boss… Not enough time to bring up emails… Plan B… **Standing** “Is anyone else’s AutoCAD running really slow?” -disgruntled CAD murmurs- “Ohk, hmmm, must just be my PC, I’ll check with IT”

No mention of white lies, besides, reading this article is definitely #14…

18. Give without expecting something in return

Ha, story of my love life so far — talk about self fulfilling prophecies!

19. There’s no end game

So this is it huh. Hmmm. Not bad. Aw you like that huh #7?

20. Enjoy small things

Finally, the justification I needed for smashing a whole box of Ferrero Rochers.

21. Don’t take yourself serious

First time for everything…

22. Don’t blame people

… I’m wondering… Whether… This is all that accurate… I mean, I suppose steaming the milk doesn’t really warm the coffee, it just has to be no one’s fault! Hey! I was not using a tone #2!

23. Create something

Shuttup, we both know this counts.

24. Never look back too long

But there were so many classics throughout the 80s-90s…That’s a lot of DVDs to throw out. Ok, ok, I realise I’ve now just lost the point and am just looking for an excuse to be cynical, but #23 says it’s sweet, plus, go #2 yourself.

25. Take action

Yeah, I think we can safely say that I don’t think this was the intended action.

For the record, I actually have zero qualms with these articles — if they make one person do one extra thing to improve their lives then arguably they’re a success. My qualm and subsequent cynical reaction to ‘25 Things About Life I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Ago’ article (sorry Darius — nothing personal) is purely a result of the daily saturation of ‘Personal Growth’ articles that plaster my daily feed. And as my GEOG101 paper taught me, once saturation point is reached, there is no longer any absorption, and rainfall will either pool (too hard basket) or flow further downhill… To another life-hack-needy sucker.

It’s funny how having joined Medium a year ago, the Life Hack, Personal Growth movement appeared to be an unmarred and thriving thread of articles, yet now, articles of the same ilk as mine seem to be rivaling the fortitude of self motivation. Proving that we are content at being flawed in the eyes of the wheat grass smoothie loving, 5.30am gym devotee— that we are disgustingly human, and what’s more, a lot of us just love pulling at the seams of undeniably flawless logic.

Simply, 25 overly optimistic, often contradicting, one eyed, seemingly uncompromising, life lessons just need to be acknowledged as being exactly that.