Medium, you’re the only one I’ll allow to give me rules, for now. ☺

So, I just said aloud “do you know how anxiety-inducing this is?” when I found myself staring at my blank page. It has been a long time (years, years, and more years) since I’ve written anything; though I’ve had plenty of thoughts and ideas. #ADD/#ADHD often enough has me rambling (again, aloud) and thinking plenty of thoughts, but they speed through at such an incredible pace that they rarely make it to paper (or digital note app, etc).

I’ve always found myself fighting the issue of “writer’s/creators/anythingers block” due to a lot of perfectionist tendencies/performance anxiety, and through a lot of working through/on ADD it’s been a constant lesson about simplifying, letting go, and being OK with a little more structure and a little less “shine” and fascination with every little thing. As an individual whose brain is naturally, constantly, “stimulated”/ sometimes “distracted” (you’ll see that I can pay attention now, of course, that’s the hyperfocus end of the coin), the bells and whistles of all the platforms, coding languages, themes, color schemes etc., are so APPEALING to me, but I have to simplify. I must.

Thank you, Medium. I think the only reason I’ve even been able to continue writing this far is that you’ve restricted me (in a good way); my brain doesn’t have the option to consider fonts and colors. There is less of the creative blockage that I’ve noticed often comes from having too many choices. I hope to take to this platform as often as I’m able to share what’s on my mind and ease that fear of putting my writing on any kind of public stage. Now that I’ve warmed up, I’ll be sharing some great insights gathered from a very inspiring conference I recently attended: Exit 2014/Get Real at The Times Center in NYC, organized by the Oxford Center for Entrepreneurs, in conjunction with Brenau University. I was drawn to it’s tagline about being a conference “for doers, not dreamers” because — while I love the dreamers (I consider myself one) — I aspire to being a CONSTANT doer and revert to the kind of fearlessness and flexibility of thought that was almost always present in my childhood & teenage years. There was so much talk of storytelling, collaboration and the spread of information and providing value, plus some great discussions on the future of business and education for the entrepreneurial-minded set that I felt compelled to keep… talking. I absorbed a lot (that hyperfocus again) and now have to reorganize my thoughts and make sure I don’t miss anything (painful), but it will come. ☺

Even though I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I talk A LOT (since kindergarten, really), I can’t imagine a better place to keep it going than on the internet. I started on it early, trying to somehow connect to Prodigy and Compuserve (“Oh, so you need to… pay for it to get connected. Whoops.” —precocious me after trying relentlessly via dial-up, age unknown) before eventually getting AOL. I was a blogger.com(er?) and then a blogspot-er and on different occasions have been on many other platforms because I love to experiment and new software/tech/innovation is my favorite thing in the world. I can appreciate their bells and whistles because I’m so captivated by visuals, artistry, and all the different ways you can enhance a story, so I’d keep them in my toolbox, of course. That said, I’m envisioning Medium as a platform that gets me a little more controlled, keeps me a bit more focused, and in a way MAKES me chill out on all the extras and just say what I have to say. Keeeep it simple. I don’t know how long this has gotten at this point, but I’m sure it’s longer than anything I’ve previously mulled over FOREVER, end result being yet another blank page. So thanks for reining me in a bit, Medium! ☺

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