I was in a small group meeting one week as a woman was speaking about her effect on her husband. She made various comments about how she doesn’t want him to feel, when she communicated with him. As she easily stated many emotions she didn’t want to provoke him into, I asked a very basic question. This brings me to my first point.


I posed this question to the young lady; how do you want him to feel? She pause for a second, looking confused, then she continued on discussing what she didn’t want. At no time did she return to the question I asked, with an answer. This is a prime example of what we all do every day the majority of the time. We have a clear picture in our minds what we don’t want to happen or how we don’t want to feel. On the other side of the coin there is what do we want in our lives and how do we want to feel. These images and emotions are usually vague and very challenging to acquire. Knowing what you want and being able to state what you want clearly and consistently is a power that the majority of us do not have. But, just like we can get stronger in our bodies by lifting weights over and over again, we can also develop the muscle of knowing what we want. Think about it like this, you go out to a restaurant with a bunch of friends. The waiter comes over and explains to you everything that is on the menu. You also have a menu in front of you with pictures and descriptions of all the foods that are available to you. The waiter continues to by asking a question. What do you want? The waiter is there to be productive and to provide a service. He is not able to do what he has been called to do if he doesn’t get the answer to this question. The question he asked of you is what would you like to eat?

The restaurant itself represents the world. The menu represents everything that you could possibly do, be, or have. The waiter represents the conscious mind. In this area we have placed a muzzle on because we seldom ask questions that open up up to the possibilities. Following the waiter question you begin reviewing everything that he said and everything that is on the menu but, the key difference here is that you were stating everything that you don’t want. Therefore, the waiter has a detailed image of what you don’t want, but is unable to provide you with excellent service because he has never discovered what you do want.

Now as you can see as this scenario unfolds: you are taking up valuable space, you never receive anything from the restaurant therefore you do not pay the restaurant, the waiter does not perform his job duties by bringing you a meal, he is not paid, he is eventually fired, the restaurant sees no income therefore is eventually closed. Therefore in conclusion the world suffers when you don’t know what you want. You are not the only one that misses out but, everyone around you suffers from your lack of even an attempt, to live up to your full potential.


Whenever you feel like your focus is in the wrong place, here is what people commonly do. People commonly do what is easy. Easy is asking yourself a question about others. For example: Why did she do that? What was he thinking? What are they going to do next? Why are they here? Why did he say that to me? What did they mean by that? These are all external questions that are out of our control. The more we think about things that are outside of our control they give us a sense of pain or discomfort. And of course, on top of all of this pain is the frustration of not being in control. Therefore, in order to adjust to change or change your focus you must ask questions of yourself. What am I going to do? What am I about to do now? Why do I feel this way? What can I say? These are questions that put you in a position of power and alleviate frustration.

In conclusion: in order to really increase your ability to focus you must do a couple things, #1 -Know what you want in every situation and #2 — Ask yourself empowering questions.

Challenge Yourself, Increase Your Value, Serve the World!

Lynn Pierre

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