So tonight I will be writing some of my thoughts that I think are pretty deep and so complicated even for myself.
The first one is regarding the famous quote that says quite like this: “Always be nice to everyone because everyone is facing their own battle that you don’t know anything about.” This quote tickles my mind a little bit after I went to yesterday’s Sunday service. The preacher was telling me a story about a man and his 24 year old son on a train. This 24 year old son keeps saying whatever he sees outside the window, like cows eating grass, the sky is blue, etc. After a few times, other passengers start to get annoyed so they sternly ask his dad to tell his son to shut up. He says that his son is having a medical problem and that they just got out of the hospital. But they don’t care and keep saying that it is disturbing, so he says the truth that his son has been blind for the past years and this is the first time he can see.
While the story is touching and it shows us how we should always be kind to other people, I refuse to believe that the other passengers are the evil ones since that’s what that story implies. It suppose to make us feel that if we are the other passengers, we would immediately feel bad and wish that we hadn’t been so mean. But here’s what I think. The dad was selfish. It seems to me that he’s using his son’s condition to validate his and his son’s position, believing that if he says the truth everyone will show some pity.
But we’re talking about public transportation here. It belongs to everyone who pays for the ride so they deserve the comfort that they payed for. If someone is being too noisy and they feel annoyed, it is their right to tell them to lower their voice. Who knows maybe the other passengers were having a bad day or dealing with toothache? But we don’t see it that way. Well, I’m not saying that the story is bad because it teaches us some moral values. But things that happen around me sometimes use similar excuses to validate their shitty actions. For example; a motorcycle trespasses a traffic lights that it forces me to stop in the middle of a green light for my lane. On his side, it’s probably his son is badly sick that he needs to deliver the medicine fast or maybe his wife is about to give birth in a few minutes or he needs to rush to the bathroom or zillion other reasons that make society think I should not honk my horn and be kind to them.
You see, that’s why we create order, rules, laws, regulations, you name it. So that people’s needs don’t overlap each other, so that people can live in peace and comfort. I know it’s not exactly a similar example, but you see it’s an unwritten law that you should be quite in public transportations. Everything is different once it involves other people and that’s why you shouldn’t be ignorant. I say, the dad should have apologised for the noise his son’s created, tell them he’s going to tell his son to lower his voice, and done. The conversation should not have ended with dad telling other people his son has been blind all his life.
But then again, it’s a good life principle right? With that quote, people can live side by side happily. So why am I fussing about it? Because that’s not the end of the case with human. Humans are the leviathan of his own kind thus really dangerous. See it this way, not everyday we encounter some troubles created by other people and hear the reason after. Right? Sometimes we just sigh to ourselves and let it pass. In some cases, the other people will talk to himself why did he do that, he should’ve apologized, and that he shouldn’t do that again. But there are other people who wouldn’t bother to do any of those and even thanking God for letting him get away with that. But we rarely know which type of person who gives us trouble we are facing today. So being nice is not necessarily the best way to deal with humans, these days. If we confront them and be firm towards them, we might have a chance to hear them say sorry and hear their reasons (or excuses) and after that it’s totally okay to show them some understandings or be kind if their reasons (or excuses) are good enough, or up to you. But if they’re wrong, they still need to be awaken.
Another example, a taxi hit my car around a year ago. So I pulled him over and later he apologized to me and asked me if I want to go to his taxi pool and he will deal with my car there. But I sternly said that I can’t because it’s so far away and I have a fitting appointment that I can’t reschedule. He said that he was sleepy and he is really sorry. First of all, it’s dangerous beyond measures that he was sleepy and driving. Plus, he was carrying a passenger. If I didn’t pull him over, who knows if he’s going to crash another car badly and this could’ve awaken him up by letting blood runs through his brain. But my dad said just let it go and we can deal with it on our own because we should pity him. So I let him go, after I take a picture of his id and ask for his number.
To conclude (this will be a long conclusion), I believe that we shouldn’t be kind all the time. We should show people some understandings which we can’t do if we don’t know the reason behind their actions. Otherwise, people will think that it’s okay to do bad stuffs and create troubles because other people are taught to be nice to everyone because everyone is facing their own battle. Not only that, people will make up excuses to get pity from others and get away with that. Also, I think showing some understandings and be firm towards other people are another way to show some kindness so that they can learn from their mistakes.
Updates: I don’t wanna be in a position where you guys judge me after reading this and say I’m a cold-hearted person. I do position myself as if I was the one making mistakes and I’m pretty fair about it. Whenever I make mistakes towards other people but I don’t get a chance to explain them and apologize directly, I have to accept certain kind of punishment. Like people honking at me when I get in the wrong lane (this just happened few days ago). Even if I do get the chance to explain and apologize, I still have to accept punishment or their anger (but not to the point where it degrades my dignity, tho).