2016 Election/Fan Fiction/ Season Finale/ Final Scene
White House/ Election Night.
A euphoric Hillary Clinton waves to a jubilant audience as she walks to a podium to deliver a historic victory speech after her landslide victory.
A typically disheveled Bernie Sanders racing down a hall while holding a giant stack of papers.
Hillary Clinton standing with Bill at the podium, making her “excited” face at the crowd and laughing.
A shadowy ball capped figure moves through the crowd, the words MAKE AMERICA… are half visible on the figures shirt beneath an expensive jacket.
Close up shot of Bernie, still moving down the hall, holding an individual piece of paper very close to his face while trying to focus through his glasses.
Side shot of Hillary waving more at the podium as the shadowy ball-capped figure enters the frame, eclipsing her.
As Clinton begins her speech, a shout is heard in the audience as the shadowy figure hurls an egg at the President Elect.
The audience gasps as the egg sails over their heads, narrowly misses Clinton, and explodes on the ground directly in front of Bernie as he enters the room with the stack of papers.
Bernie slips on the yoke, sending the papers flying everywhere, before landing on his back, sliding across the floor, and crashing into a bust of Lincoln, which teeters, falls, and breaks.
The camera follows the head of the bust as it rolls across the floor before knocking into a statue of Washington, which triggers the fall of a long line of presidential statues via the domino effect.
The last statue falls, lightly tapping a portrait of Thomas Jefferson, which lingers for a moment, before falling straight down off the wall.
The portrait’s frame cracks and a small bronze cylinder pops out of the bottom and rolls across the floor.
The camera follows the cylinder closely as it rolls further down the hall, before coming to a stop under the foot of a black robed figure.
A pair of elderly bejeweled female hands slowly reaches down and picks up the cylinder and unscrews its lid, before removing and unrolling an old parchment contained therein.
The Camera moves higher, revealing that the parchment is being read by, Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who slowly raises her eyes in astonishment at Bernie.
Bernie rubs his head as a ring of tweeting cartoon birds dissipates. Bernie meets Ginsburg’s gaze, he looks like a scared child who thinks he is about to be scolded.
The shadowy egg-throwing figure’s hat falls away as the Secret Service apprehends him, revealing the figure to be Donald Trump.
Clinton and Trump exchange angry overlapping words as the audience slowly picks up the scattered papers which are revealed to be Clinton’s Emails and Trump’s tax-returns.
The Email’s reveal a lengthy series of lewd love letters between Clinton and Trump, and the Tax-Returns reveal that Trump and Clinton have been legally married since 1986.
Why would you try to delete our love? Our very very great YUGE love? Asks Trump, from behind tears, before being violently tasered in the scrotum.
The audience explodes into an uproar along with Trump’s electrified screams, but are called to silence by Ginsburg who enters stage right.
Ginsburg explains that she has discovered the original copy of the U.S Constitution before it was, apparently, lost or suppressed.
The original copy is mostly identical to the current constitution, save for one very important detail:
According to the lost copy, voters in presidential elections are supposed to vote for their least desired candidate. The candidate with the least votes is the true winner of the Electoral College.
Ginsburg then thanks Bernie for his unwitting contribution to American Democracy.
The recuperating Senator looks pleased with himself until he notices Hillary glaring at him in pure rage.
Michelle Obama drops her face into her hands.
Bill Clinton laughs, a slow, insane laugh.
President Obama shakes his head and removes a pack of cigarettes from his jacket.
The camera slowly zooms in on Sanders. At first his face is one of panic and terror as he contemplates just how much shit he is in, before it switches to a face of “meh” and resignation, as he shrugs and raises his open palms.
Cue: *Curb Your Enthusiasm Theme*
Post Credits Scene:
Aerial view of the desert somewhere in New Mexico .
The Camera descends onto a smoking RV in the distance.
Inside the RV, Jessie Pinkman sits amongst empty beer cans, copies of Reason Magazine, and old pizza boxes. He smokes a bong with one hand and flips casually through T.V channels with the other.
T.V News Anchor Voice: …. has been declared the 45th President Elect of the United States in a truly stunning and last minute upset victory due to an unprecedented Supreme Court ruling…
Pinkman: Yo……YO!….Mr. J! Wake up! Yo! Wake up, you’re fucking President BITCH!
A visibly hungover Gary Johnson springs up from a couch, knocking over the bong, which shatters.
Johnson is wearing nothing, except a pair of Gadsden flag “DONT TREAD ON ME” print boxers.
Johnson’s face in silhouette against an off-color picture of himself on the television next to an election map.
The map shows he has now won all 50 States, after being slightly less popular than Jill Stein.
Johnson: Wellll, HOT DAWG!