(The following story is not really from The New York Times)

SUNDAY ROUTINES

How Sarah Knight, Writer, Spends Her Sundays

Knight is a freelance writer by trade, so every day is basically Sunday. “Although,” she concedes, sipping from a fairly decent cup of coffee that she brewed in ten seconds from a Keurig pod, “I almost never take a shower on Sunday, so that’s usually how I can tell the difference.”

She shares a two-bedroom apartment with her husband in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn — but not for long. “We’re moving next week,” Knight says, looking around at the cardboard boxes that dot her pretty-standard-for-Brooklyn living space. “So today I have to do some packing. Which is fine, since I never go outside on Sundays in the winter. Too cold.”

The thirty-seven-year-old recently wrote a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck, which, if this article were actually appearing in the New York Times, would be printed as The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a ____, and would be confusing to many readers. Not giving a pint of blood? Not giving a rousing speech? Not giving a high-five? “None of those things seem particularly life-changing,” says Knight.

Anyway, if your idea of the perfect Sunday is riding go-karts in New Jersey or indulging in a stationary surfboard lesson with Cynthia Rowley, then Knight’s routine probably isn’t for you. Otherwise, read on…

I DON’T SET AN ALARM Honestly, I never set an alarm, even on weekdays. Unless I have a dentist appointment or something like that — although I also try not to make appointments for any time during the day that would require me to set an alarm. I guess you could say I’m not a morning person.

“CATCHING UP ON MY STORIES” This is what I call scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram with my morning wine — er, coffee. I like to get all the cat pictures out of my system first thing, then I spend some time promoting my book on Twitter, and today I watched that Seth Meyers “Boston Accent” movie trailer again. Wicked funny.

BREAKFAST I’m one of those people who can’t eat right when I get up. Fortunately cold pizza is good any time of day.

A LOT OF SITTING AROUND I’ve been lucky in life. I have two couches and a bed, so I tend to mix it up between them on Sundays. One of the couches has a chaise so that’s my number-one couch, like if you have a couple ladies on the side but your wife is your main squeeze.

WILD WOMAN I recently acquired a pair of leopard print pajamas from Target at Atlantic Center in Brooklyn and I wear them all day. They’re kind of rayon, I guess? Very stretchy and soft. My husband likes the way they make my butt look but I like them because they don’t show stains. Leopards are very lucky in that way.

SNACKS My husband likes to cook so on a typical Sunday he’ll be making short ribs in the slow cooker or something and I’ll be eating all the hummus and garlic-parmesan pretzel chips we have in the apartment while I wait for him to finish. Today I’ll probably get into a fight with a roll of packing tape and I might cry a little for no discernible reason.

WINE O’CLOCK 3:00PM is wine time around here on Sundays. Which means if I ever spend Sunday in California, I’m allowed to start drinking at noon. I have a really nice $11 Chianti that we buy by the case from our local, The Greene Grape. We get a 15% discount.

DINNER AND A MOVIE A very important part of my Sunday routine is deciding what to watch on Netflix later. My husband likes foreign films and sci-fi and I like raunchy comedies or suspenseful dramas. We recently settled on Narcos which is going pretty well so far. Tonight after the short ribs, we’ll watch episode 3 and then I will hem and haw about whether I can stay awake long enough to squeeze in another one. I always forget to start watching early enough to fit in two episodes. It’s my cross to bear.

PUFF PUFF PASS OUT I have insomnia, but rather than get hooked on tranquilizers I like to take two tiny little bong hits about an hour before I want to fall asleep. I’m way into natural remedies. Then I play Words With Friends against my mom and wait for sleep to descend. As mentioned, I don’t set an alarm.

#SundayRoutine readers can follow Sarah Knight on Twitter and Instagram @MCSnugz.


Want to be like Sarah Knight? Order The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a ____!

Hardcover: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Books-A-Million| IndieBound

ebook: iTunes | Kindle | Nook

Audio: Audible.com

Sundays are for not showering.