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I would have been so much happier this morning if Robert Mueller had simply walked up to the podium, ripped off his jacket to reveal a doomsday weapon and pressed a big red button. Just put us out of our misery, please.


For many years, the ownership of the Whanganui River in New Zealand was under dispute between the Kiwi government and the Maori people, who consider the river sacred. Now, however, it owns itself. In what’s believed to be a first, the river has been granted legal personhood, with the same rights and responsibilities as you and me. But determining where a river ends and the rest of nature begins —well, that may be up for some debate.

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MEL is looking for part-time writers to join our burgeoning daily team

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We’re hiring part-time writers to join our burgeoning daily team, executing sharp, original commentary on the biggest talking points of the moment.

We expect you to pitch your own ideas and take editor assignments, stay up-to-date on the latest conversations, studies and trends and have a reliable network of sources to call up when needed. (Web-reporting experience preferred: You should have a knack for finding unusual people and getting them to talk.)

We’re looking for someone with a unique voice and perspective. Someone who’s creative, curious, thoughtful and enthusiastic. Someone who’s honest, humble, transparent and unafraid to show some vulnerability and an openness to being wrong. Someone who has the smartest take on all the silly stuff, and vice versa. …


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Greetings and welcome to the landing page for Bro Bibles, our weekly series in which staff writer Miles Klee—who in addition to being MEL’s Shit-Poster-in-Chief is an actual novelist—ruins his summer by reading the books your worst ex-boyfriend holds dear to his heart.

It’s our hope that by engaging with these often problematic and rarely rewarding texts, Klee will save everybody else the trouble — and perhaps learn why they’re so popular among his cursed gender. And more importantly, he will prevent you from ruining your hard-earned vacation (or at the very least, your beach reading) with the tomes below.

So leave them unopened and buried on the clearance rack at your last remaining Barnes & Noble—which is exactly where they belong. …


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It’s Sunday morning, so you know what that means — the Sunday Scaries are mere hours away. And so, to lighten the terrifying reality that the weekend is almost over and that the Monday workday is growing ever closer, here are three Sunday funnies to put at least a temporary smile on your face.


They might be patriotic, but they’re not from these parts

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We’re an industrious people, but until the craft beer craze of the last couple decades, our mass-produced offerings to the Beer Gods have more or less tasted like piss. Not to mention, our macro brews are far from exotic—originating from not-so-faraway places like St. Louis and Milwaukee. Luckily, it’s a big world out there. A world, too, that’s awash in better beer—if for no other reason than that better beer comes from an unfamiliar place and seemingly makes us more sophisticated when sucking it down (even though, in many cases, it’s simply another country’s version of Budweiser). …


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It’s Sunday morning, so you know what that means — the Sunday Scaries are mere hours away. And so, to lighten the terrifying reality that the weekend is almost over and that the Monday workday is growing ever closer, here are three Sunday funnies to put at least a temporary smile on your face.


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Getting in physical fights is the lamest. It doesn’t prove how tough you are — in fact, it might do the opposite. But for whatever the reason, witnessing a fight, in whatever form it takes, still fascinates us; maybe it’s our lizard brains. Whether they’re actual brawls, spats between couples, battles behind the wheel or fights against the status quo, our interest is immediately piqued when we see people going at it.

This week was dedicated to that fascination. …


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The ‘Fight Club’ sound designer reveals what you’re really listening to during those famous fights

All that racket you heard in Fight Club — most especially the punishing fists that bloodied (if not outright destroyed) the pretty faces of Pitt, Leto and Norton — came from Ren Klyce, the five-time Oscar nominee for Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Editing. In addition to his work on The Last Jedi, Inside Out and House of Cards, Klyce been at David Fincher’s side since they were 19. And so, his credits include all of Fincher’s films, too — from Se7en to The Social Network to Gone Girl (and everything inbetween).

His most indelible noise, though, might be the hand-to-hand clamor he crafted for Fight Club, the film based on Chuck Palahniuk’s 1996 novel of the same name. It was painfully realistic, fearsome and impossible to shake — even nearly 20 years since the film was first released. To hear how he attacked our ears with such ferocity, we asked Klyce to break down the sound production of three of the movie’s most famous fights — when Brad Pitt and Edward Norton first square off; when Jared Leto is completely pulverized via fisticuffs; and when Norton beats the shit out of himself (and his office). …


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It’s Sunday morning, so you know what that means — the Sunday Scaries are mere hours away. And so, to lighten the terrifying reality that the weekend is almost over and that the Monday workday is growing ever closer, here are three Sunday funnies to put at least a temporary smile on your face.

MEL

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