Sorting Out The 2020 Presidential Field, Hogwarts Style
The recent revelation that Midwest millennial mayor Pete Buttigieg is a Hufflepuff (who could have seen that one coming?) got me thinking about where the Sorting Hat would place the other 2020 presidential wannabes. I would rate myself a mild Harry Potter nerd, so I am sure there are much more well-versed Potterheads out there that might take issue with some of my predictions. But I figured I’d take a stab at identifying the core traits of each of the Democrats seeking the White House.
A quick refresher on the houses for those who have chosen to ignore the most culturally pervasive (and probably significant) work of the 21st Century. There are four houses — Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. As J.K. Rowling writes: Gryffindor values courage, bravery, nerve, and chivalry. Hufflepuff values hard work, patience, justice, and loyalty. Ravenclaw values intelligence, creativity, learning, and wit. Slytherin values ambition, cunning, leadership, and resourcefulness.
As is often the case, some candidates could easily fit in two or three of these houses, so the trick is figuring out which house is the best fit. As fans of the series will know, Harry Potter would have been a good fit in Slytherin, but he wanted to be in Gryffindor so the Sorting Hat placed him where he thought he belonged. For those not fully versed in the Potter cannon, it should be noted that being sorted into Slytherin house doesn’t necessarily mean you are a power hungry xenophobe like he who shall not be named. Honestly, most politicians are probably Slytherins, since the nature of elected office requires people to be ambitious, resourceful and often times cunning.
I am not the first to take a stab at this. But, I want to be clear that I jotted down my thinking before doing a google search to see what other outlets have written. So, with that preamble, let’s dive in starting with the current front runners in the polls.
JOE BIDEN: Slytherin
This pick will probably be a little controversial. Biden has been around in politics for so long that you could probably make a case for him falling into any of the four houses. He’s demonstrated intellect in his policy positions and work in the U.S. Senate, especially on foreign policy, but he doesn’t feel like a Ravenclaw. He’s definitely displayed chivalry at times, but courage and bravery don’t seem to be the traits that drive him. He’s also been an advocate for justice and clearly believes in hard work, but these don’t seem to be what he values the most, so Hufflepuff is out.
In my experience, if you have a little bit of every house in your background, you are probably a Slytherin. Throughout his career, Biden has been a prototypical pragmatic Democrat who tends to believe the ends justify the means, so long as the ends are not so horrific that you can’t sleep at night. He clearly values ambition and likes being a leader, and these traits have been constants throughout his career.
BERNIE SANDERS: Hufflepuff
Sanders is nothing if not loyal. He’s been the most unabashadley committed to a democratic socialist society and has patiently held the line for decades waiting for the people to make their way over to his point of view. His ethos is to create what he sees as a more just society that values a more equal distribution of resources and wealth, instead of the more traditional American view of a meritocracy based system. Where many of his opponents have called for the system to be reformed so its more fair for all (but still a meritocracy), Sanders seems less concerned about upholding the value of competition. He’d rather hand out the countries collective wealth to the people through Medicare for all and free college tuition.
BETO O’ROURKE: Slytherin
This was a close call. Beto O’Rourke could easily be a Gryffindor since he clearly has nerve. But it feels like ambition drives his actions far more than courage and bravery. The other key trait he seems to demonstrate on a daily basis is resourcefulness, rolling with punches towards a singular goal of connecting and inspiring voters to be involved in a movement to — well, what exactly the movement is about is not so clear right now, but he’s confident he is the person to lead it.
ELIZABETH WARREN: Gryffindor
This decision might throw some people for a loop since Warren is clearly one of the intellectual heavyweights of the field, rolling out bold policy positions left and right and backing them up with wonky, off-the-cuff, remarks that sound less like a stump speech and more like a boardroom pitch. Warren demonstrates wit, intellect and creativity for sure — but her courage sets her apart so far in this campaign. She is not afraid to throw out a policy position that the Democratic party would have thought to be untenable even four years ago, so long as she feels it is the right thing to do. Maybe she takes these incredibly bold stances like breaking up big tech, overhauling housing policy, and paying reparations to the ancestors of slaves because she has secret polling that tells her it will help her win. It’s possible she is an Academy Award caliber actress who can convince crowds that she believes in these policies in her heart, when really it is a calculated play. For now, I am going to chalk it up to bravery and authentic conviction.
KAMALA HARRIS: Ravenclaw
Harris is not the only lawyer in the field, but she definitely is the one who feels like her law background has shaped her world view. Heck, her campaign slogan is “For The People,” a reference to her days as California Attorney General. For me, prototypical lawyers just shout out to me Ravenclaw. Sure, you could argue a lawyer may be Hufflepuff, because they value justice, and clearly Harris does. But, most of the highly successful lawyers I have interacted with tend to value intelligence and creativity more — which appears to be the case for Harris as well.
The biggest knock against Harris in this race so far has appeared to be her record as a prosecutor and as Attorney General of California, which some on the far left have ripped apart for going to easy on white collar criminals at times, and failing to uphold progressive policies on occasion. Her defense is basically, and I am definitely paraphrasing here, that she was doing her job, and it is a complex job that requires difficult choices that will piss people off because convincing a random jury of your peers of one thing is a lot harder than convincing a bunch of activists. The fact that her record reads more like a list of reasonable decisions founded in legal precedent and less like a liberal’s Christmas list of activism just furthers the point that Harris is probably a Ravenclaw.
CORY BOOKER: Gryffindor
The dude ran into a burning building to save a woman when he was mayor of Newark. Plus, he has basically made his campaign about fighting for love. He’s basically the Manchurian Gryffindor.
AMY KLOBUCHAR: Slytherin
She ate a salad with a comb. You don’t get much more resourceful than that. Though, she easily could have landed in Ravenclaw with her legal credentials and stern intellect. Plus, eating a salad with a comb is also pretty creative. I am a little torn, but I am sticking with Slytherin for her.
KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND: Gryffindor
She could definitely be a Slytherin as well. Especially when you look at her career in public service, where her policy positions “evolved” to fit the current office she holds. But, the one thing about Gillibrand’s pivots on key Democratic positions is that they have moved from point A to point B. She isn’t a flip-flopper, she is just a flipper.
In her presidential bid she has carved out bravery as the main theme of her campaign and on the trail she has seemed more authentic than she ever has been in the past. She likes to say she is running because she wants to fight for other people’s kids as hard as she fights for her children. The turn of phrase feels a little too folksy and over consulted, but she has backed it up with moments of real anger and passion when it comes to carving out a better country for her children.
As for the others — John Hickenlooper, Jay Inslee, Tulsi Gabbard, Julian Castro, John Delaney, Andrew Yang, Marianne Williamson, etc. — I need more time to probe their records before I make a bold prediction.
