I finally read this that I’d saved:

This, this is me:

That is a terrible feeling to have…. on a daily basis – that you have no control over your own self, when most of adult life consists of that, most of it involves being able to say you’ll get something done by a certain time and then show up to get it done, but it isn’t that simple. You can get it done but you might take longer or you might do something else entirely, where your mind will go at the time you need it the most is uncertain. When that belief finds a home in you that you yourself are unreliable…. when you cannot fall back on yourself, when nothing you do ever matches upto what you want to do…. you feel guilty and terrified…. of yourself.
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