The Kyrie Irving Sweepstakes Already Has A Winner

Oh, [Kyrie], where you gonna run to?
[Kyrie], where you gonna run to?
Where you gonna run to?
All on that day
Golden State is chuckling to themselves. The league is falling over itself to be somewhat of a competitive match for them, and prevent their inevitable third title in four years. Now their biggest threat is crumbling from within. With news of Kyrie Irving requesting a trade, ESPN has to allocate all of its technological resources to support the trade machine to satisfy all the Irving trade possibilities. However, when you really examine the other 29 teams in the league, considering Irvin’s value, how many realistic suitors does Cleveland have to make a trade happen. Lucky for you, here is the breakdown with only one team as the most logical destination, requested destinations be damned.
Category #1: No, because we’re the champs!
Golden State — we’re good, brah
Category #2: Not enough assets
Atlanta — if Dennis Schroeder is the centerpiece of your package, not even a Billy King-esque allotment of draft picks would be enough
Brooklyn — Irving played high school basketball in New Jersey, so there’s that
Detroit — Stan Van Gundy would trade for Channing Frye if it would mean getting out of some of their bad contracts, let alone trying to get Irving
Indiana — the very definition of a middle of the pack team. I like Myles Turner, but let’s not get crazy about what his ceiling is
LA Clippers — if Cleveland believed in Austin Rivers as much as Austin Rivers believes in Austin Rivers, then Irving probably wouldn’t even be enough in this deal. I just keep thinking of this clip and how LeBron might kill Rivers upon arrival if he pulled this on the regular
Charlotte — perhaps a package centered around Kemba Walker, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and a ton of stock in the Jordan Brand might get things started
-Sidenote: Did you know MKG is only 23? Am I the only one astonished by that?
Orlando — Cleveland probably wouldn’t answer if they saw Orlando on the caller ID. Best not to waste each other’s time
Chicago — No need. Chicago is set with their core of Lauri Markennen, Zach LaVine, and Kris Dunn. Right?
Dallas — hasn’t it seemed like forever since Mark Cuban landed a big acquisition (sorry Harrison Barnes)?
Utah — still in morning over the loss of Gordon Hayward
Portland — once they get Melo, he can help recruit Irving to Portland too.
Denver — close, but we need to see a bit more out of Jamal Murray and Gary Harris. You can have Emmanuel Mudiay though
Category #3: We like our guy enough that it doesn’t make enough sense
OKC
Washington
Boston
Memphis
Toronto
-Each team here already has an elite point guard (that’s right, you too Memphis) that a trade wouldn’t make much sense. OKC has the better player. Washington would break even. Boston is already sitting pretty ready to take Cleveland’s finals position, And the other teams would have to include enough that it’s almost as if, what’s the point?
Category #4: The Lakers
Two factors working against the Lakers here: 1) LaVar the prophet and Magic the Baptist both believe that Lonzo is the Messiah. 2) It would make for an awkward reunion when LeBron comes to LA in 2018
Category #5: We don’t have room
Houston — I would like to see it work if only to count how many times talking heads say “there’s only one ball” to describe the Kyrie-CP3-Harden triumvirate
Category #6: You have my attention
Philadelphia
Sacramento
Milwaukee
Miami
-None of these are likely but are at least interesting. If Philly offers Fultz, Okafor, and multiple draft picks. That’s the start of something, isn’t it? It’s not so dissimilar to another trade Cleveland made a few years ago with the same framework: #1 pick + former top-3 pick.
-Sacramento has enough young prospects that they can throw them all at Cleveland with Fox being an enticing centerpiece. Throw in a future pick — downright guaranteed to be a top-ten pick- and it’s something
-I read about a Milwaukee package in Zach Lowe’s piece about the situation. Middleton, Brogdon, and picks is a very solid offer and probably presents the best combination of being able to maintain relevancy now with an eye toward the future
-Miami’s trade package hinges entirely on what’s the opinion of Justice Winslow. When he came out, Miami was lauded for getting such a steal, now we’re still wondering what they still have in him. He’s still only 21, just two years younger than MKG, so there’s time to become something special. He’s still the guy Boston was willing to trade 4 first-round picks for, supposedly.
Category #7: Now we’re on to something
San Antonio
New York
Minnesota
New Orleans
-Every team has at least one very enticing player that would get Cleveland thinking. If LaMarcus Aldridge has any semblance of the value he had in Portland, this could work. Cleveland would have to clear the logjam it would create with him Kevin Love, and Tristan Thompson, but that would be a good problem to have, especially if the offer is sweetened with Dejonte Murray and Danny Green
-For a NY deal to take place, it would hinge entirely on Cleveland selling itself on a Carmelo-LeBron tag team. In a vacuum, Kyrie is the more valuable player at this stage in their careers, making LeBron as happy as possible still has to count for a lot though. And there’s the whole no-trade clause Melo has. Thanks Phil.
-Can you imagine Andrew Wiggins traded back to the team that originally drafted him, and Minnesota finding a suitor for one of their big contracts to offload (bye bye Gorgui Dieng)?
-If Boogie doesn’t work in New Orleans, there’s only two ways to salvage his career: 1) Have Pop get a crack at coaching him, or 2) Play with LeBron.
Category #8: The WINNER
Phoenix
-It has all the ingredients: a comparable point guard to take over for Irving (Eric Bledsoe), a young blue chip prospect (Josh Jackson), and a future pick. Who says no?
