Maybe it was you who spotted me. Maybe I spotted you first. It’s Halloween October 31, 2013. We both somehow end up at Slide nightclub in San Francisco. Maybe because Ruby Skye was packed and we wanted to be in a smaller more intimate area. Whatever the reason, I was there.

You were dancing in a circle. You and five of your girlfriends were there. I could tell you were not having a good time. Out of the corner of my eye ,I saw you smile.My funky dance moves made you laugh. When I dance and don’t give a fu** I think people notice. I noticed others smiling at the same moves. You definitely stood out among your friends. I think everyone of the friends in your group was asian. You were the only white girl among them. I wonder why.

“Who are you?” You asked me.
Who do you think I am I replied.
…

I think you know what happened next.

Your red pencil skirt and your smile could not fool me. You were not really smiling. As you lunged towards me, giving me a bear hug, I felt nothing but a deep cry for help. I wish I could hold you for longer than a minute. Letting go was terribly difficult to do.

Why did you let me do that?

I do not think you noticed, but I had gazed deeply into your eyes. I remember you. You appeared in a few of my dreams. I don’t remember your name, but you were definitely there.

Why did you resist when I took your hand?

Then I answered your question.
You are broken. I said.