Do You Have What It Takes to Be Successful?
I first titled this, The Six Stages of Success, because it sounded nice.
Then I changed it to The Six Stages of Growth because that I can say for sure, with the upmost confidence, I have actually experienced.
We define success in many ways. It’s evident that success comes in all forms and each of us have a different opinion. Have I had success? Sure. I’ve lost weight I wanted to lose. I’ve reached goals. I’ve landed clients. I’ve helped grow a business to six figures. Am I a millionaire? No.
Have I been through fire, grief, doubt, hopelessness, and terrible shock? Yes.
My father died on September 29, 2022.
The day before, I was living in my new apartment in a new town for only four days. The day I moved was my father’s 66th birthday and the last day I saw him. On the night of the 28th, I got fed up with my homesickness. I talked to my husband and he advised I get into a new side project to keep my mind busy and start afresh.
He asked me the most important question that changed everything:
“If you could talk about one thing for 30 minutes, what would it be?”
Productivity. A locked up power unleashed inside of me and I knew what I needed to do.
Make a website and start blogging about time management.
The next morning, I woke up at 5:45am and began drafting up my site’s blueprint.
At 7:49am, my mother called.
Start growth period…
Within 24 hours of my father’s passing, my brother and I put our grief aside and quickly made the decision to continue my father’s 15 years old online marketing business with home care agencies throughout the U.S. to support my mother. I quit my other job.
When I say I had Imposter Syndrome, I mean I really had self-doubt, fear, panic disorder, sleepless nights, nonstop studying, and made tons of mistakes.
We had no idea what we were doing but couldn’t let our clients see that.
We couldn’t use grief as an excuse because at some point, people just see you as “Daddy’s Little Girl” playing grown up. I was 36 years old. Yet, still a little girl in many ways.
Since then, I realized the true meaning of productivity.
Everything I was going to write about prior to the news was nothing short of regurgitating what all the gurus taught me about time management.
During my growth period, none of their methods worked. I’d say one of the closest and best methods was taught by Robin Sharma’s book, The 5am Club, but everything else did not work for me.
So, I used my own methods, despite all the testimonies from the gurus.
What does work is for another post, but for this one, I’m going to write about the common theme and stages I’ve experienced with growth that led me to bypass Imposter Syndrome, achieve goals, build revenue to six figures, ban burnout, and finally take on one of my biggest fears: writing for Medium.
Stage One
To start any growth, there needs to be some level of self-awareness and an internal observation. When we’re constantly busy and overwhelmed, we tend to go through life with blinders on, not seeing the areas we need to improve and grow in.
If you feel high tension, stress, and anxiety, you need a shift. If you feel achy, sick, tired, you need to change something in your lifestyle. If you are sad, emotional, easily offended and insecure, there’s a mental shift that needs to occur.
In this stage, you gain a sense of what goal you do want based on how you don’t want to feel anymore. So you set your goal.
Stage Two
Naturally, we look to others that have reached the goal we seek. We look up blogs, videos, reels, or talk to friends and mentors. Either way, we’re looking for insight and motivation to get started.
This stage usually brings on the most excitement. It’s when we start to gain hope and feel more in control.
Stage Three
If we’re serious enough, we start right away. Stage two can take a bit of time, for instance, if you’re looking to change up your diet or work out, you may set to take action the following Monday or day one of the next month. You’ll gather your new foods, clear out your pantry, and purchase your gym membership.
Stage three is when you officially execute this new change toward growth.
Stage Four
Beware of the overzealous mind, because this is when the excitement can fade and our motivation derails. If we’re not accepting that we’re in training mode, learning and adapting to the new habits we’re forming, we can quit easily. It’s the moment for grace, not for forcing too much.
Failure is a right of passage in this stage. I did list failures, in the plural sense, because we fail many times. It’s necessary and most of you reading this probably know that to be true.
Growth doesn’t come unless there’s a plethora of errors. Failure shouldn’t come with emotions. It really is black and white. Cause and effect. A to B. Failure is the bridge from before and after.
Every bridge to growth comes with a starting point. Through the high’s and low’s you will transform and strengthen to get yourself to the other side and level up. If you can’t make the high’s and low’s, you can jump into the quit zone, which has a current that leads back to the start.
Stage Five
Once you cross the bridge, you level up. You’re not done. This stage is full of refinement and assessment. If you’re serious about your growth, you’ll take it to the next bridge, meet more failures, high’s and low’s, and will level up yet again. And again. And again.
Growth has no expiration date.
Stage Six
How you started will never be how you end. You’ll be a new person. You’ll have new thoughts, new habits, and new relationships.
In this stage, you’ll refine your goals and where you are. You’ll execute in a new way, a more efficient and effective way.
Once you make changes in your life, shifts will occur outside of it and transform what you once knew and who you once were. If you’re working toward improving yourself, which is more than likely the intention of your goal, you will come out differently.
If that’s not growth, what is? And, essentially, that is success.
The Repeating Stages
Stages Four through Six will repeat for the serious folk.
Most people quit at Stage Four. I actually don’t know that to be true, I have no statistics on the word “most” but I think most of the people I know quit at this stage.
Once you’ve established a goal, it’ll go through a series of refinement and new forms of execution. If you are trying to beef up, you’ll probably lift heavier weights or take on a triathlon. If your goal is to be a blogger, you’ll probably decide to write for various publishers, engage more with your community, and come out of your introverted shell. (Hi, Medium community! I’m new in town.)
How to Beat Stage Four’s Quit Zone
This depends on your perception of failure.
If you look at a mistake as a sign that you’re not good enough and believe that thought, you’re going to talk yourself out of continuing. Your subconscious mind will remind you of the old you, the comfortable you, and will try to keep you safe.
Allow yourself to be safe. Let your ego have its drama for a day or two. But do not quit. Try to at least get across the bridge once and assess if you’re truly following your heart.
Sometimes we set goals based on another’s perspective. We copy what worked for someone else without having our own intuition involved. This can start feeling “off” and you will become unaligned, unfocused and confused about what your goal really is.
You don’t have to quit here, just go back to Stage One and find the real meaning of why you seek growth in a particular area of your life. Maybe there’s a deeper root that requires a totally different path of execution.
If so, find the bridge you’re willing to cross.
Thanks for reading!
MK
