Banned In TrumpLand

“Make Licking County Great Again!”

I’ve been planning an “October Surprise” for the election, for all of you, and I have succeeded in keeping it a secret until now.

I’ve written a one-man show about this crazy Presidential race and was planning to perform it live — and film it — on Oct 7th in Newark, Ohio, the seat of Licking County, right in the heart of Trump Country. My producers flew there on September 15th and negotiated the rental and use of the historic Midland Theater in downtown Newark. Their staff greeted us with open arms and happily agreed to let me book my show. My team then returned to NYC and we set about preparing the shoot and putting the final touches on the production.

Well, this past week, my big plans got dealt a death blow by the Republicans of Licking County, Ohio. We got a call from the theater management telling us, “We’re sorry but the community board that oversees the theater has voted to not allow Michael Moore to perform his show here. We are declining the rental.” When asked why, it was explained to us that, “Michael Moore’s appearance here could reflect negatively upon the Midland Theatre. He is too controversial and the risk is too great. The board is afraid that renting the theater to him
may cause the theater to lose long-standing patrons. Our board here is fairly conservative and it was felt that Mr. Moore would try to sway people’s minds to vote his way.”

Well, they got that right. They aren’t stupid. This show, and my plan to release a video of it it nationwide so it can be seen by millions in the weeks before the election, should definitely “sway” some people into voting!So, good for them at the Midland Theatre in Licking County, Ohio, that they get the subversive intent behind this one-man show. I’ll take it as a compliment.

That said, this decision left my production without a place to stage our show in the swing state of Ohio. Well, folks, I’m not leaving and going somewhere else. Sorry, Florida — you were our second choice, and yes, we know how welcomed we’d be in your insane excuse for a state, but we’re staying right here because, well, it’s clear now that Ohio really, truly needs us.

And lo and behold, as I was writing this, my producer has informed me that it looks like we may have found a place about an hour or so down the road from Licking County, even deeper into southern Ohio, with even more Trump supporters. A county that has 25,000 registered voters — and only 500 of them are Democrats! Yeah, baby! TrumpLand on steroids! But I’m told they believe in free speech. Imagine that. The show is on!

So, good people of Licking County, you can rest easy now. Or you can convince your nonprofit board (which is controlled by a bunch of local for-profit businessmen) to change their minds and let me in the door. I’ll come do a second show for you. It’s still a free country, right? What are you afraid of? That people with a conscience who hear some truth might begin laughing AT your candidate instead of voting for him?

The bottom line: I’m going to perform this show in Ohio. It’s 2016, for crying out loud. And personally — sorry for the whining — I’m tired of all the shit I always have to go through. But that’s nothing compared to what all of us and the rest of the world are going to have to endure come November 8th if things go very, very wrong.

So… onward to Ohio the first week of October! (I’ll let you know the details later.) Maybe after I film my show in a town that will have me, I’ll stop by Licking County anyway, pretend I’m still in America, and perform the show in the street outside that theater.

“Make Licking County Great Again!”

P.S. Btw, Licking County is known as the “basket capital” of the world. No, I’m not making a “basket of deplorables” joke. They literally are basket people here. This photo below is of the “World’s Largest Basket” and it’s the actual corporate headquarters in Licking County of the Longaberger Basket Company. (You can write your own caption here.)

Like what you read? Give Michael Moore a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.