Lies are Legos

Look at a Lego piece, and you realize that it’s a tiny, trivial thing. A stiff bit of plastic, monochromatic and meaningless if considered singly. But if you select the right pieces and put them together in a thoughtful manner, you can build amazing creations, works of art even. Or you can carelessly slap together whatever and build heaps of nothing lacking form and function and beauty. The choice belongs to the architect.

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The lie was white — small and harmless. He and I had planned to meet for coffee; two friends getting together to shoot the breeze. While there, we ran into a mutual friend. She asked if he and I had arranged to meet there. Without even a hint of hesitation, it flew from his lips. The lie. “No. I just came to hang out.”

The lie didn’t sit well with me. I asked why he didn’t tell the truth. He didn’t want to explain. So the lie burrowed into my psyche like a corpulent tick and sucked at my calm. I wasn’t yet sure why.

I ran the incident past a couple of close friends, and they assured me it was nothing to get worked up about. I knew they were right. Whom did the lie really hurt? Hadn’t it obviated awkwardness and potential conflict? More important, in the grand scheme of things, it was a miniscule offense at most, unworthy of note much less fret. So, why did it continue to bother me? The answer, I knew, was Legos.

A little white lie, a minor discourtesy, a warm smile, a friendly word. Most of our actions appear tiny and trivial, having negligible impact on our lives or others. Considered singly, they are meaningless. But it is with these tiny, trivial acts that we build artful constructions (love, trust, respect) or create unstable messes (pain, hate, distrust). It is with these tiny, trivial acts that we choose how we will be in the world. In other words, with our actions we construct not only our relationships, but our very souls. And what we design is only as beautiful as the thought and heart, behind the actions we choose.

Yes, a Lego piece is a tiny, trivial thing. But if we’re going to bother to build anything, why not make it something good?