My father had been working long hours for years as a staff pediatrician in a county hospital when by chance he came across an ad for a position in a small private pediatrics medical group some 30 miles away. He applied, was hired, and his long hours at work became longer with a new commute.
He just wasn’t around very often, and when he was — he was tired.
In business as in life, timing is everything. My father got in at just the right time as the practice grew and we moved from our middle class town into a upper class neighborhood. After spending 4 years geeking out in a private Jewish day school, I felt tossed into an Aryan jungle — undersized, uncoordinated and unprepared for the stinging discovery that I had no ability to play sports on the playground with the kids who were my friends in the classroom. While all my peers seemingly had fathers who had taught them the basics of run, catch, throw, it dawned on me that my father had never thrown a ball to me nor even mentioned sports; consequently, I was that kid on the schoolyard in 4th and 5th grade, who no one wanted on their team. The humiliating negotiation between team captains of “You take him. No, you take him!” became a searing elementary school ritual.
I was competitive, off-the-charts-hyperactive and wanted nothing more than to be one of the guys who was good as sports — to carry that passport of self-confidence earned from playing sports well. Instead I was the short, uncoordinated, skinny red head from private Jewish day school with two left feet, who nobody wanted on their team. As I grew older, I promised myself that if I had sons, I would make sure they would never have to suffer the childhood indignity of being picked last.
Years later, I became the father of two precious sons three and a half years apart. They both were playing catch before they could walk. I brought a ball with us everywhere we went and we played every chance we got. We watched sports together, breaking down football gameplans, basketball defenses, baserunning strategy. I took them to local games and coached many of their teams. Being the present father for them that I never had myself was cathartic. And my sons developed a love of sports and competition. More than anything, I wanted them to experience the self-confidence and brotherhood that comes from being good at team sports.
Four years ago, when my sons were 12 and 8, their mother and I decided to divorce. Inspired by the humble mantra and democratization of Yoga to the People, I began a yoga practice that helped keep me grounded through the cataclysmic shift of divorce. Often I would take my sons to class with me. Yoga was good for all of us. We would work hard, sweat, and always felt great afterwards. As I noticed my older son’s practice evolving, it became clear that student athletes stood to gain tremendous benefits from having yoga incorporated into their training. And I decided to shift careers and build a program to bring an accessible style of yoga training to middle and high school athletes.
Sports done right can play a valuable role in the positive physical, emotional, and psychological development of young athletes. Yoga offers remarkable benefits in those three areas as well. Connecting them made perfect sense. And Maximum Performance Yoga was born.
I used to coach my sons in tackle youth football leagues where players came from violent and poverty-stricken neighborhoods. But when those same kids were out on the field, their personal challenges would melt away. They would forget about their imprisoned father, their alcoholic mother, the gunshots outside their door that would send them diving onto their floors at all hours. When those young children were out on the field, they learned to embrace brotherhood, teamwork, and a common goal.
I became a friend and father figure to a lot of these boys. They’d spend weekends with my sons, eating pizza dinners and shooting hoops until the sun went down. Big games like the Super Bowl were always events at my house. My sons moved into other sports and I no longer coach, but we’ve continued several of the relationships with their former football teammates.
One of them visited last weekend and I was stunned to see him wearing an ankle monitor because he got into a schoolyard fight. Why the fight? He was punched in the back of the head while walking away from one. He spent four nights in juvenile hall for defending himself. And when his ankle monitor wasn’t charged properly, he was taken back into custody for another two weeks. I spent time with his public defender, appeared in court and helped her build a case for his release. The system saw this promising young man only as a violent offender. I knew otherwise. But urban, at-risk kids aren’t afforded the second chances that other kids are given.
The next week, another friend from our football days came over. Same age, same team. And I’ll be damned if he wasn’t strapped up with an ankle monitor, too. He spent five nights in jail for fighting. And as he told us his story, my heart sunk.
Anger and violent reactivity, which is often a part of the day to day environment that at-risk kids grow up in, was destroying the lives of these young teens with so much potential. I’ll never forget the raw expression of fear on our friend’s face after the judge refused to release him at the first hearing and he turned back to look at us, as if to say “how can you let them do this to me?” as court was dismissed. And as I sat outside in the hallway with his grandmother before the 2nd hearing, waiting again for a chance to offer a character reference before the judge, I realized that the yoga for athletes business that I was developing can also be about so much more than injury-prevention and performance — it’s also about helping kids manage their anger and make good choices. The power in making that connection has strengthened my swim upstream against convention and stigma and the obstacles that any entrepreneur faces in bringing an idea to life.
The reason yoga training is an incredibly effective way to manage anger, walk away from conflict, and live a good life is because you are taught how to focus on the breath. If you can gain control of your breath, you can gain better control of your choices. High profile athletes are turning to yoga in droves for an edge in performance and injury prevention. From Lebron James to Hope Solo to the Seattle Seahawks — yoga is being used for million dollar bodies. I believe it should be used for every body. Why should young athletes being left out?
The question is, how does one take an ancient Eastern practice that has developed a reputation as being feminine and esoteric and turn it into a tough, athletic mind/body workout that would appeal to youth?
The answer is in re-shaping the messaging. For athletic kids to buy-in, we’d have to do more science than Sanskrit, and more kinesiology than Kumbayah. So together with a few other trusted yoga and fitness teachers, we hashed out and tested workouts along with a new messaging paradigm. And that’s how Maximum Performance Yoga® was born.
Victor Hugo once wrote “nothing is as powerful as an idea whose time has come.” Now it’s time to give kids all over the nation the benefits of our specialized yoga training. I can’t really improve the lives of one or two at-risk kids by having them over to hang out with my sons intermittently and simply preaching to them about staying out of trouble. They will need to learn to breathe their way through situations of anger and violence, in the same way that an NBA player breathes when he is about to shoot a free throw with the game on the line. Maximum Performance Yoga has developed a highly inclusive weekend workshop teacher-training program, so our teachers can fan out nationwide and provide young athletes (at-risk or not) with the tools to create better lives for themselves.
While chances of getting a middle or high school sports team into a traditional yoga studio are minuscule at best, as we deliver our unique brand of high-energy yoga training to their fields, courts, gyms, pools and beaches where they play, those kids are loving doing yoga. Why? Because everyone feels good doing yoga! That’s been going on for tens of thousands of years. It’s universal. Being able to breathe and extend and grow longer and stronger only makes sense. Our workouts are designed to “ninja” all the mind/body benefits of yoga to make young athletes flexible, balanced, injury-free and with a little bit of luck, jail-free as well.
Nathan Friedkin is the founder of Maximum Performance Yoga® — complete mind/body workouts that crush convention, smash stigma and bring the badass benefits of power yoga to student athletes.
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