“The issue at the heart of this essay is why we interpret other people in terms of ourselves — why we see them as extensions of our worth and ego.”
I understand and agree with everything you just said as it relates to there being other ways to interact with people, and with most of what you said in the aforementioned “essay”.
Now onto this aspect of your response, “your statement reads both as veiled misogyny a la “nice guy,” and “well how the hell am I supposed to meet women now?”
Regarding the latter, namely the “how do I meet women now” aspect; I asked those questions as a means to see if there was more to the point that you had made, or if you were just going to continue coming across as another angry woman. If I offended you, that was not my intent. Also…I at no point said that I was advocating for the maintenance of “inherently disrespectful and dehumanizing interaction”, nor was that my intent.
That being said. I disagree with what you had said EARLIER not because i think it was invalid, I do find it valid, but because it lacked the Content that you just posed in your response above. My issue regarding this matter, as it relates to how I have seen many women approach their expression of disgust, is the “incompleteness” and the spiraling effects that has on the perspective of the already very damaged role men play and should play in society. As you said, there are “a number of perfectly organic ways two people could strike up a conversation”. But the degree to which you had expressed your point of view earlier made me think that you were not willing to acknowledge that aspect of it.
The core of it all is the issue of the male role in society and in this case,that ALOT OF MEN DONT KNOW HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN. There is no Excuse for being rude, harmful nor harrassing any woman, no matter how justified one feels, if there is no “indication of reciprocity”, tek weh u self. But it is made to seem like there has never been a scenario where a stranger, has come up to a woman, and she was open to it, and very comfortable with the interaction.
My point is simply that I dont have a problem with what is being said on the part of women, but HOW, more specifically, the wording.
Communication is the core of our society, if we keep propagating skewed views on it, we lose it. Because you initially did not indicate that you are or have ever been open to a stranger approaching you in a means that you do find comfortable, it can lead to the conclusion that you are promoting that No One Should approach a woman they don’t know, in any instance, good or bad. This may not have been your intent, but due to how it is worded, that is how it comes across.(that is what i was pointing to regarding the “soft dooms-day” scenario).
Now, having addressed the “how the hell am I supposed to meet women now” part of ur response; I have to address this aspect, “ veiled misogyny a la “nice guy”.
I am interpreting this as you saying that, my perspective is “just because I am nice or polite to a woman in my approach, that means that she should be open to the interaction.” I would like you to clarify this for me, because if that is the case, I AT NO TIME said so, and NOTHING I said leads to that point, and that WAS NOT MY INTENT. What I in fact said was “I say this as a man who has, politely approached women who were also, not open to the interaction. Women who had similar responses, though nothing quite like “hoss, who you is?! And why you important?”, and once this disinterest was conveyed, I simply said a pleasant “goodbye”.”
I look forward to your reply.