Simply wonderful. Russel you have the opportunity to do some amazing things in your lifetime. Your “Peter Pan syndrome” analogy is a testament to your mental, physical and spiritual growth. You are literally on the outside looking in mentally and physically. I hope you had that conversation with yourself, the younger you -who was on the inside looking out, looking for answers. Let him know it’s okay and that you have him- you got his back. Since you know the “system”- you know the game; if you have kids or planning on having children you set them up to succeed. You are an artist, a creator -menefestator of things not just in easy times but hard times as well-that’s what got you through and will continue to do so. Use this talent and decide that you have the ability to paint your tomorrow no matter what anyone says or die trying. Thats the urgency you must have — to break through.