The Gospel of Excellence
When I was about to graduate from my high school on the outskirts of Manila I was enrolled in a day long reentry seminar for third culture kids. Stereotypically TCK’s are branded as cultural nomads who don’t feel at home in the culture they grew up in, nor in the culture of their passports. The moniker comes from the blend of the two making a third culture that the kids live in.
I found myself having to jump through the mental hoops of the overly critical head-dweller that I am as I listened to how hard it would be for me to move back to the United States. Sure, for some it would be difficult to get back into their passport cultures, but I was dedicated to fit in right away as an American, and quickly abandon the tempting victim complex of someone who feels out of place.
When I arrived to the States I adapted fast, and ignored any of the niggling frustrations of being a little bit different. I have lived in the United States for five years straight now. Lately I have been struggling with the reality that I feel like an outsider in my larger community. But, the fact of the matter is, I don’t struggle with my identity as an American. Since the start of coming here that has never been hard for me. No, the larger community that I don’t feel a part of are American Evangelicals.
I wrote a counter argument to a friend’s blog a few months ago about why in spite of everything that frustrate me about the culture of evangelicalism I remain one. What I didn’t say outright is that my remaining an Evangelical is more of a technically correct situation. When you look at the dictionary definition of what it means to be an Evangelical I fit the bill perfectly. I adamantly affirm the tenants of what it means to be evangelical. The problem is that more and more lately I get the feeling that evangelicalism doesn’t want me.
If you are one of my evangelical brothers and sisters who I am in regular contact with don’t fret, I’m not saying that you have done anything to me that communicates anything other than your love and inclusion in your community. I am more talking about the tone of your leaders, your talk show hosts, and your celebrity pastors.
They are very clear. They love the Bible dearly, and are devoted to a truthful careful hermeneutic in their teaching from God’s Word. However, the areas that they often are most passionate about, and push for with all of their energy tend to rub me the wrong way. In the same breath of decrying mega-church pastors who preach a “prosperity gospel” they assure you that the way to a fulfilled life free from marital strife, and crippling debt is obedience and excellence. “God doesn’t want you to have a sports car and a private jet” they say, “what God wants for you is to have a life that is as free as possible from the consequences of sin.”
The spiritual life of the Evangelical tends to be built off of a love for God that is motivated by obedience and faithfulness. The closer and closer you get to God through biblical literacy and personal devotion, the less you will be the old man, and therefore the less you will choose the sinful option.
Now, don’t get me wrong. It is very clear that as we draw close to God, He will draw close to us. And as we are more aligned with the person of Christ the more we will life a life that is according to His will. Where I so differ with the Evangelical zeitgeist of excellent living is in the fact that such a strong focus on obedience is not motivated on the love for Christ, but the avoidance of the consequences of making the wrong choice.
It would be like if the only reason that I strive to close the dresser drawers after getting my clothes out was to keep my wife from nagging me, or to prevent the relational turmoil (albeit minor) of upsetting her, rather than striving to do it out of my absolute love for her, and my desire to be more aligned with her life. The results are absolutely the same, but the means are drastically different.
And this is where I am feeling on the outside looking in the window of evangelicalism’s house. I agree that the ends (and some of the means) of evangelicalism’s spiritual disciplines are good. But I struggle so much with the motivations behind what they do. It is not worshiping religion. It is not dogma. It is doing the steps of the dance perfectly to the song without looking into the eyes of your partner and getting lost in it.
The freedom that I have found on the outside is the freedom from having to think about all of my choices being the best or worst ones. I feel the freedom of the Holy Spirit moving in me as I go, rather than rely on my own ability to know right from wrong in the moment. I have the freedom of failure and repentance. This does not lead me to take advantage of grace as some leaders would argue, but rather it leads me to the person of Christ, rather than the things He does and does not want me to do.
This isn’t a unique take on religion. It is easy for us to be focused on the gifts not the giver of them. It is easy to focus more on the rules rather than the rule maker. It feels like the same nit-picky mental gymnastics of the exit seminar saying that I agree with what is being said, but not with the way it is being said. I want to be able to shut up and enjoy what it means to be evangelical, but it feels like death, not life. I remain an evangelical, but I want to know how we can move away from the gospel of the excellent life. I want our faith to be motivated by who we actually are, not who we are striving to be.
