20 Ways: Life Is A Crap Videogame

May 25, 2013 · 1 min read
  1. The inputs aren’t clear. Motion control is quite intuitive though.
  2. Bosses don’t have glowing weak spots.
  3. Power ups don’t just run out of time - you run out of money/personality/life.
  4. Friendly fire is always on.
  5. Permadeath.
  6. Check points aren’t clearly marked.
  7. Co-op is really hit and miss. Who’s this griefer? Loot stealers everywhere too…
  8. Tremendous lag sometimes. I swear I sent that email three days ago, but the response is all jerky and seemingly unrelated to my move!
  9. Combos are really hard to learn.
  10. Levelling up takes ages.
  11. The soundtrack is stuck on shuffle.
  12. Region locking is seriously strict.
  13. PvP imba - not always related to skill, more like host advantage.
  14. The auction houses are kinda borked.
  15. Platforming segments are way tame.
  16. Storyline is totally unrealistic in parts.
  17. Not much replay value.
  18. No DLC character models.
  19. Driving segments are mundane and buggy.
  20. The loading screens take fucking ages!

Any other suggestions? Comment and let’s build the definitive list!

Coming up next time - 20 ways you can hack life like a videogame.

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