Discover the patterns behind people’s reactions

When we return to our old habits, we enable our toxic behavior patterns to rise again. Why do we always end up making the same decisions and how can we solve this issue?

This article might shed some light on the bad attitudes that we’ve all come to accept.

Our ego might have something to do with this

The word alter-ego comes from the latin alter, which means other, and egol, which means self. Thus, it defines having a second self, an alternative personality of yourself.

“There are patterns which emerge in one’s life, circling, and returning anew, an endless variation of a theme,” says Jacqueline Carey, an American novelist.

She interprets a beautiful metaphor that stands for how alter-ego works.

Throughout life, when we experience personal decisions, we face positive and negative effects. Our ego keeps track of the memories to prevent confronting a situation similar to our past.

Freud studied human psychology

Freud called our patterns to be a “repetition compulsion”, which is a neurotic defense mechanism. How does it work? The repetition compulsion is an attempt to rewrite history.

We activate these patterns as they begin to shape our experiences by overusing their impact in our lives. We use them by adding the same layer to the situation, no matter what the outcome might be.

When a pattern is created, a way of living is being born

When we create a pattern, we add a new role to ourselves. Most common patterns involve roles such as “self-victimization”. Most of us use the victim role whenever we want others to acknowledge us being defenseless. It is often used strategically to elicit sympathy from others, and gain support.

When we are in a relationship with someone who plays the victim role, we will never fill the “need” gap that our friend always seems to have.

To sum up, we all have and use these patterns, in a conscious or subconscious way. We all empower our other self to decide for us because it is safer for us. It is a shield we use to protect ourselves from the outside world and to return to our comfort zone.