The Failure of My University
This was originally written as a letter to my university and I decided to post it here for some closure.
Hello.
I’ve had a long time to think on how I wish to approach talking about the University of Tasmania, and with introspection as to what went wrong (with help from advice given by friends who experienced abuse in life themselves), I’ve come to a realisation.
I realised I don’t want to return after what I had to go through — especially in regards to the events during the first semester of 2019, how the university students themselves lack important communication skills, the gross mishandling of student/teacher relations, and the learning atmosphere being hostile and counter-productive.
It took me a long time to look at this from an objective, rational standpoint because the whole experience utterly destroyed my ability to be productive, or even feel like I’m valued for the greater portion of 2019. I should probably be more angry about this than I currently am, but I know it’s for the better that I look past my own emotional needs as best as I can and make solid observations. I’m also quite possibly utterly exhausted from this charade at this point, and that I’m only making sure to make my[self] heard so that I can finally reach some sort of resolution to finally close this chapter in my life.
Firstly:
The communication skills of my fellow students. I bring this up as my friend and I who were studying the bachelor of media at the time experienced firsthand the result of complete communication breakdown, and that out of the adults involved — as students were legally considered adults at the time — not one student talked to either of us about their personal reservations that they had about us being passionate for the learning experience. This proved disastrous as without the student-to-student communication, people would defer to the highest possible level of authority to get the job done for them.
A game of telephone is not the way to approach sensitive topics.
Although it’s understandable for children to rely on adults to resolve disputes for them, it’s expected of employable individuals to be able to take the initiative and at least try to work out each other’s differences in a professional environment. Personality differences where the majority of students wouldn’t make an attempt to get involved (my friends and I witnessed this; the students would rely on other people to ask questions and interact with the teaching staff in various lectures) isn’t a valid cause for concern that requires the filing of a formal complaint. What it requires is initiative on the student’s part to maintain open dialogue with others. What it requires is the ability to work towards diffusing any potential problems like an adult — without resorting to calling in a parental figure surrogate.
The aforementioned lack of communication was going on for nearly half a year since mid 2018. Finally nearly halfway into 2019 it was made aware to me that the complaints raised by students and staff were an ongoing unspoken issue when it was all dumped upon me far, far too late.
This isn’t acceptable. This destroyed me.
As a side note, I want to make it clear that my personal choice of electing to not make my psychological disability explicitly known was for a very good reason. I don’t want people to think that I have “special needs” so that I’m given concessions for behaviour that shouldn’t be given a free pass. I want people to think that I’m an adult. I want people to treat me as an adult. I want people to give me the respect and dignity that an adult deserves. I don’t want people to have any connection between me and a disability that I happen to have. I’m not interested in wearing an open secret as a metaphorical badge. I’m sick of having these badges foisted upon me that do nothing but negatively influence how people interact with me before anything is actually said.
Secondly:
While mostly a result of students failing to take initiative for their own troubles, what the teaching staff should’ve done at the time is to tell the students affected by debatably disruptive peers that they first talk with them and see if an agreement or understanding can’t be made. An escalation to the highest possible level of authority is then understandable if a compromise isn’t met.
Thirdly and ultimately:
What caused so many issues for me to wrap my head around until now is that my friend and I spent a good deal of time and energy on being tasked with creating a verbal presentation. The instructions we were given clearly stated that while we didn’t need to make a slideshow to accompany it, that we were still allowed to, and that it would be accepted. My friend and I desiring to be overachievers wanted to put our abilities to the test, and indeed to the breaking point, as we finished the script for the verbal presentation and the resources for the slideshow in the middle of transit on the day it was to be given. Upon arriving to the Salamanca campus, and preparing to deliver our presentation, we were told that we would not be allowed to use our slideshow as it would be “unfair” to the other students. My friend tried contesting this as we both felt that it was unfair that the students would be left with a dense presentation without the visual element (as the slideshow would help make it easier to follow and help those who don’t speak English as a first language) and that despite us putting effort into something that we were told was allowed, that we were denied last-second due to a teacher deciding to go back on their word and punishing the quality of our presentation as a result, as it, at that point, required the visual aspect of the accompanying slideshow.
This made it abundantly clear to me that the University of Tasmania, as represented by its teaching staff (albeit not all, but enough to make it a problem), is not looking for students who have a passion for learning.
As such, I have withdrawn from all my units and courses and I’ll be searching for experience and opportunities to learn elsewhere, another time.
I’m not interested in counselling nor any further assistance with my mental health as I realise that it wasn’t my fault, and that I don’t owe it to anyone else to finish my education as it stands — especially if I have to put up with the antisocial behaviour from my peers.
My time learning what I did is still valuable to me, but I’m stepping back indefinitely to reconsider my options.
To those who helped me, who stood by my side despite me not being ready to fully accept your assistance at the time due to the wounds being too fresh, I thank you. May your time at the university improve the university’s name by the simple virtue of you working there, because of all things, you were what made it worth going to the university. I cherish each second of our lengthy hallway talks about all things media and sociopolitics.
I will be posting this to my social media pages in an attempt to spread awareness. I can only hope that radical change occurs so that the learning environment improves.
Finally, no, this isn’t a veiled suicide letter — I have too many hobbies that I wish to develop to an adequate level before I consider anything as rash as a permanent solution to a treatable/temporary problem.
Regards,
Majatek
