Part 2: How You Can Transition from the Older Brother to the Extravagant Father

Yesterday I posted thoughts on the necessity of the Church to represent the extravagant Father in the story of the prodigal son (read here). Far too often, we engage the world as the older brother and turn away the many people who desire to return to a merciful God.

For us older brothers, however, I did not give any practicals for the much-needed transition to becoming like the father. I often think that many church goers are mostly likely more faithful than they should be. So many of us have been poorly catechized and yet we still go to a poorly organized mass every week. There is something in us from our childhood that keeps us going. Many of us truly have a love for God but have never been taught how to have a proper relationship with Him. We want to know the fullness of our faith and share it, but most of us don’t know how. Here are five tips that can help you get started. It only takes a few changes in our actions to cause significant changes in our lives and the lives of others.

1. Be BRUTALLY Honest with Yourself

You, my friend, are your biggest deceiver and your worst enemy. I tell you this not only because I love you but also because the Bible tells me so. What do you not believe? What do you not understand? What is your secret sin? I have heard it said that even the most righteous man would run away in shame if all of his heart were exposed to the world. You are not as good as you think (and not as bad as you think), and that is not bad news. It IMPERATIVE that you see yourself as you truly are and that you assess your faith as it is. Call out your sin as it stands in your heart. Admit that you need mercy. When you can look in the mirror soberly, you can see God and your fellow man as they truly are. Honesty is the first step to humility and humility leads to compassion.

So what is it? Do you believe that God is real but don’t care to know Him? Are you content with making money and giving homage to nominal religion? In the end, can you not let go of your desire for control? Do you have pill addiction? A porn addiction? A shopping addiction? Are you obsessed with you? Are you hung up on getting romantic love to feel worthy?

Whatever it is, the first step to laying down your idols is admitting that you worship them. Stop lying to yourself and proclaim the truth OUT LOUD!

2. Tell Someone About Your Honesty

This is the hard part, but it is by far the most freeing part. You HAVE to admit to someone else your brutally honest assessment of yourself. If you believe in confession, I challenge you to go but also to tell a friend. Don’t believe in confession? Confess to someone else. The more secrets you have, the more isolated you will feel. The more you confess your deceit, the more you will realize that there is no new doubt or sin under the sun. St. Paul killed Christians, I am willing to bet you have not done that and St. Paul has an ST. in front of his name. In my life, when I finally admitted the worst that I had done to someone else; they had done it too. The minute we bring our sins to the light, they lose half their power. We cannot just hold them in our hearts if we ever want to know the Lord and engage a broken world.

3. Start A Prayer Life

Ok I take it back, this may be as hard as number 2 because it requires commitment. Do you not know how to pray? Great, MOST PEOPLE DON’T and by now you have admitted this to yourself AND told someone else. This is a great place to start. For an easy start to a prayer life, I make two suggestions.

The first, read the daily readings. Download Laudate on your phone and commit 15 minutes to the readings. Do not do this on a walk; do not do this while distracted. Be alone, in silence for 15 minutes with the daily scriptures and say something along the lines of “Jesus, (or name according to your belief), I have no idea what I am doing, but please show me in these readings what you want me to know.” Commit to this daily for one month and then reassess.

The second, go to adoration. Don’t think about it; don’t talk yourself out of it; google your nearest adoration chapel and just go. Sit. Do you 15 minutes there two or three times a week. Do not judge your time there until you have done it for a month. It will feel weird; that’s ok. We do many important things that feel weird. You are not too busy for this.

4. Start molding your actions around the teachings of Jesus

Ok so you have gotten honest, you have shared that honesty, you have begun to pray, now it is time to do. How do you spend your time? Are you living out the beatitudes? Are you trying to care for the homeless and the widows? How are you spending your money? Jesus did not say, “ Blessed are they who watch the news and think that the world should be different, for they will change the world.” He did not teach us to FEEL bad for a hurting world; he asked us to enter into it. Find a homeless ministry, work with women recovering from the sex industry. Do you know people of other races or sexual orientations? Get to know them. Give away more that your leftovers; challenge yourself to give away something you like. What does your parish need? What is the Lord asking you to do? Do it! Don’t just feel it.

5. Share Your Faith with a Friend

Can you articulate why you are Catholic or Christian? If you can’t, that’s ok. What are your favorite memories of growing up in your faith? Why did you convert? Why are you still here? What did you learn in mass or service? You don’t have to be a creep show to share your faith with others. Just talk about it. One of the best ways for me to give myself a spiritual boost when I am feeling dry it to tell someone how I landed in ministry. It reminds me that God is SO faithful despite my repeated unfaithfulness.

Finally, talk about it as if its truth, not as if its preference. If we want to introduce our world to our God, we have to speak of Him as though He is real, not as though He is just here to give us warm fuzzies.

So there you have it. Here are a few simple steps that, if taken, can help us one by one to become the disciples that Jesus desires us to be. Let us make the changes necessary to represent our extravagant Father to the world that truly does want to know Him.