I became pregnant with my second son a little after Tigger turned 2 years old. Man oh man, was I scared. My pregnancy with Tigger had been so smooth up until the very beginning of the surgery. When I got on the table to get my spinal the comedian/anesthesiologist says “Oh, wow, did you know that you had spine abifida?!” I don’t know why he thought that would be good to tell a pregnant woman with her first child, right before she would have her first ever surgery. Then while the doctor is closing me up she tells me “Oh yeah, you do have a bicornuate uterus.” Tigger had a very small area to grow and it is likely that he did not have good blood flow within utero, which is why he was so small.

So, for this pregnancy I wanted to make sure I had all the information I needed to have a healthy baby. Now that I knew that I had spine abifida, the doctor prescribe a larger amount of folic acid, I had ultrasounds with specialists to make sure that the baby had good blood flow. I did everything I could to make this baby bigger.

Due to the bicornuate uterus, this baby was also breech. I was hoping for at least a 6 lb. baby. In my mind- big meant healthy. I had a schedule C-section and when the doctor pulled the baby out she said happily “Mama, he is a big boy.” Then they told me that he was 7 lbs. SEVEN POUNDS! I was so happy and relieved. No NICU for us this time. My sweet little Nemo would be in my room with me. I was not fond of being in the hospital so I got out of there as soon as they would let me. I had surgery on a Monday and went home with my baby on a Wednesday.

While we were going through all these revelations of Autism Spectrum Disorder with Tigger, we had a brand new sweet baby at home. As far as we can tell at this point- Nemo is 20 months- he is typically developing. His speech is delayed a little like Tigger’s but still in the range of normal. But the thing is we just don’t know what the future brings, no one does with their children.

As I think it is pretty common with parents with multiple children, we are having such a different experience with our second child. It is amazing how different children can be. Nemo is typically developing which means he gets into everything. He knows exactly what will get a reaction from us or his brother and he goes for it. He is such a dare devil climbing, jumping, running and making my heart stop a few times a day. He eats like a champ one day and the next day he throws all his food at the wall or the dog, or whoever is closest (or farthest) from him. He is also a very happy baby, but he has quite a temper on him and is stubborn. He wants to do everything his big brother does- I think he really just want to be Tigger. Watching their budding sibling relationship has been so fun and challenging, because they are typical brother in every way. One minute they are playing together happily and the next minute they are devising evil plans against each other.

Sometimes when I think about all the attention Tigger is getting, especially if I choose to homeschool him. I worry that Nemo will feel left out. I don’t know what it is like to be a sibling of a child with special needs. How will Tigger’s special needs affect Nemo? Will he be more tolerant? Will he feel angry and resentful? What do I need to do so that he doesn’t feel that way? At this point for Nemo, the sun rises and sets with Tigger. He adores him and Tigger is beginning to adore Nemo equally. I guess I can’t worry about the future and I need to really just stay in this moment and do the best I can one day at a time. I’m sure that I will have lots of hilarious stories to share about my little Nemo, he is quite a character.

Mama never knows- I never, ever thought I would write a blog. I didn’t think I had an interesting story, but as I write, I see that I do have something to say and it is so therapeutic to write and get all these thoughts that I had floating around in my head on paper. I am writing this anonymously and changing everyone’s name, because I want to be able to write honestly without worrying about what friends and family may think if they read it. And since I am talking about my children, I think it is important to keep their identities private.