Are You a Bad Boss? The Ultimate Checklist

(Insert infomercial voice) Ever wonder if you’re a bad boss? Having trouble figuring out whether or not your team actually likes and respects you? Well wonder no more! We’re proud to introduce the first-of-its kind, “Are You a Bad Boss? The Ultimate Checklist!”

For a special limited time offer, you can find out what no one else will tell you (at least not to your face): whether or not you’re a bad boss. All it requires is three short minutes of your time. Simply read the list below, check off the items that apply to you, and within seconds, you’ll be on your way to getting the answer you’ve been waiting for! Supplies are limited, so don’t delay. Get started now!

I Am a Bad Boss if…

___ I don’t praise my employees

  • “Good job!” “Way to Go!” “How Impressive!” — congratulatory phrases like these just aren’t a part of my regular vocabulary, especially not between the hours of 9–5, Monday-Friday.

___ I’m a know-it-all

  • But I do know it all. That’s why I’m the boss. Duh!

___ I play favorites

  • Ok I’ll admit it. I sometimes cut certain people breaks, I’ll only invite specific employees out to lunch or HH, and on the rare occasion that I do praise someone, it’s usually only Allyce. (Seriously, though, she’s the only one doing real work around here).

___ People are quitting (all the time)

  • Annual turnover rates are closing in on 50% and aren’t showing signs of slowing up. You want to leave? Fine, leave! I’m not going to hold anyone hostage.

___ I throw people under the bus

  • Someone has to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. So that leaves…

___ I’m not qualified (and I’m not trying to be)

  • I got this job because I’m friends with my boss (or someone higher up the food chain). I mean I could put in the work to show I deserve to be here, but why bother. I’m here aren’t I?

___ I take personal credit

  • Anything good that happens is because of me; anything bad that happens is because of someone else. It’s a simple formula, really.

___ I don’t know anything about my employees

  • Where they live? What they do for fun? If they’re married or have kids? Speaking of it, did they even show up for work today? Nope. Don’t have a clue.

___ I squash creativity

  • There’s your way, and then there’s the right way…which, TADA!, is always my way. Stick to the plan; just stick to the plan, people.

___ I tend to smother

  • Did you get X done? Have you called Y yet? Show me your task list. Who are you meeting with at 1:45? I’m watching yoooouuuuu…

___ I’m a workaholic

  • No days off. No nights off either. All hands on deck. All.The.Time.

___ I’m lazy (or disorganized…or both)

  • 11:00AM: Hey Jim, can you come here? I have a lot on my plate this week. Mind handling this? 3:00PM: Hey Carmen, can I see you real quick. I have to duck out early today. Could you finish up this proposal for me and send it my way by 8pm? We need to make sure it’s over to BD before the all-hands meeting tomorrow. Thanks!

___ I lack integrity

  • Was it my fault? Sure, some could probably say so. Did I admit that fault? Huh, come again?

(Insert infomercial voice) Unhappy with your results? Be sure to return next week, when we’ll debut our latest product: “How to To Go From Bad to Good: A Guide for Bosses in Need of Some Guidance.” Hope to see you then. Cheerio!

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