What Am I Doing On Medium?

Day 56

Someone warned me not to get too personal on here. You never know who’s watching. You never know how these words — the happy, the angry, the sarcastic, the depressing — will come back to haunt you. I’ve taken this into serious consideration. Since I started writing on this site roughly a year ago — and since I’ve started writing publishing at least 100 words every day 55 days ago — this has been an interesting journey.

I began my writing on here to produce good work. Right sentence structure, wording, grammar, etc. I wanted to be persuasive yet open-minded and passionate yet level-headed. I wanted to inspire with my words.

But I didn’t just become better at editing my words but also my thoughts. I walked a tight line between honesty and shame. I was ashamed of some thoughts because I thought they were boring, negative, controversial, stupid, etc. (I’ve now discovered they were mainly boring.)

Then my perfectionism kicked in and I stopped writing. So now I’m exploring honesty and vulnerability in a way that’s exciting and terrifying. I’m putting work out there that’s raw and leaving it open for the world’s criticism and my own baptism in self-confidence and awareness. So in a sense, yes, I’m too personal. That’s kind of the point.

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