5 Reasons Why it’s Okay to be Selfish (sometimes)

Mari Hopkins
Aug 24, 2017 · 6 min read

You know the old saying:

There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team”

Well, what about…

There is ME in time?!

Most recently, I found myself stretching myself far too thin. This is not the fault of any colleagues, leaders, family, or friends; but at my own accord. Working at a “startup”, you become obsessed with work. There are no 40 hour work weeks when you are dedicating your future to something to be a success (and that’s okay!).

One of Raygun’s core values states:

There’s no time for bullsh*t when you’re building an empire

(one I probably have mentioned/talked many times before)

While B.S. can stay on the sidelines, don’t forget to have a work-life balance. Coming from a startup before Raygun (Porch.com, among others), it has always been ingrained in my mind to never stop working.

While at my prior companies and current one, I have pushed the limits of working hours…over the past few weeks, I’ve had a realization - I cannot perform at my fullest when I don’t take time for myself…& taking time for myself is not just work related, my personal life as well (time literally alone).

Once my numbers started to slip at work for things outside of my control, I blamed myself and I could feel myself go in downward spiral. I became obsessive to the point that I was not able to focus on my daily tasks, which became my fault.

I always felt shameful if I was not available to anyone and everyone at all hours, but learning more as I grow older about respecting my time and myself, I have decided to start being a bit more selfish (occasionally..baby steps, ya know?)

Now after reading articles and taking more time to myself I learned a few things about being “selfish” to help me learn and get better (or so I’d like to think).

Here are 5 reasons why it’s totally okay to be “selfish” sometimes.

1. You will be more productive and efficient

Chunking your day is a proven fact to be uber efficient. If you haven’t heard of chunking your day, I highly recommend it.

Basically the way it works is you set aside set times to focus on a given task throughout the day. For example, between 6:30–7AM sometimes I will have time blocked out on my calendar to call my U.K. prospects. That is my main focus for that time. On other days I might block out an hour to send emails or do admin work.

Let’s be real, we all want to be perfect multi-taskers, but no one is. IDGAF who you are, don’t say you are because you’re lying to yourself.

If you get interrupted, it can take more than 25 minutes to get fully refocused on that task! WTF!

Now, I am not perfect at the “chunking” technique, but I am working on it. But-as you can see, if you set time for yourself, it can help you be more efficient.

I also have seen that putting too much pressure on yourself or setting unrealistic goals translates into over-thinking and under-performing.

2. BALANCE

Everyone needs a “work-life balance”. Sometimes it okay to take a 5 minute lap around the building if you’re stressed - it’s okay! Everyone goes through a hard time, when work and life stressors combine..be okay with taking time to walk it off.

I noticed a huge flaw in myself when people in the office asked me if I was “okay” or “stressed”. Yes, I was. But I shouldn’t show that. It can negatively impact the team and energy. Especially working on a small, tight-knit team. We cannot risk morale for having a “bad day”.

It’s okay to admit you’re not perfect. Even Superman falls, even Jon Snow took a freakin’ knife to the heart (and bends the knee to Dany after she lost her dragon child when he swore he wouldn’t-true inscest love).

We all want to be perfect at every task we take on, it is totally fine to admit you’re struggling or need help. If you don’t it could potentially set your team back rather than moving forward!

3. Build or reinforce relationships

SORRY! I love puppy photos, they have a high correlation with friendships and happiness in my mind.

As you focus on yourself, also focus more on relationships you treasured but may have lost sight of with your mind elsewhere.

There’s nothing wrong with shooting the sh*t for a few minutes to learn more about the people you work with or reconnect with an old pal. Just don’t be a lazy f*ck, get your sh*t done.

For example, in the office: if you invest time in learning more about a colleague and some of the things they are going through personally, you both automatically build a bond. You both want to work together and build something great.

On the other hand, don’t alienate key assets to your team. You will learn your mistake far too quick.

Obviously, there are things you don’t share or talk about. Building relationships and remembering what their wants, desires, struggles, etc. are can help build the foundation for a successful company and team.

4. LEARN

Giving yourself time to read allows you to develop personally as well as professionally. I noticed when I stopped reading as much or listening to as many TED Talks, I was just going through motions. I have always been a person dedicated in self-development and improvement. In fact, a big career goal of mine is to eventually be responsible for onboarding employees and training/developing people within a company.

As I read more on the train rather than troll social media or Slack, I find myself more refreshed for the day and motivated (which links to #1 above).

This is the band AHA if you were wondering why I had random dudes in jean jackets on here. I ❤ Puns.

5. Take care of yourself

As I am focusing on myself more, I feel healthier. Getting into bad habits when you are giving everything to everyone else is easy. You lose sight of you-the one person you should never lose sight of..you are the most important person you have created. No one can rescue you other than yourself, so invest in yourself.

Don’t ever forget it’s totally fine to admit you’re wrong. No matter how much you want to be right.

So, don’t feel bad for taking time for yourself. I still dedicate time to my team, and working on dedicating more time to personal relationships.

Respect yourself. Respect your team. Respect your relationships.

As I move forward with more thoughtful and vulnerable blog posts, I hope you take one little piece away from just one post.

)

Mari Hopkins

Written by

Seattlite with a keen interest in building sales teams and developing employees.

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