That was a rule I had for myself during my teenage years, going on my early 20s. I felt judged, looked at whenever I dared to eat ice-cream in public. I would imagine people around me thinking: “how can you eat that when you look like that?”
I grew up thinking:
Thin: GOOD. BEAUTIFUL. SUCCESSFUL. HEALTHY. ACCEPTED. STRONG. CONFIDENT.
Fat: BAD. UGLY. DEPRESSED. LACK OF SELF-RESPECT. NO SELF-CONTROL. ALONE. WEAK.
I remember being around 7 years old and my mom helping me fit into my shorts. As she was trying to button it up she looked at my belly, touched it and looked up to me and said in a very serious, almost upset way: “this belly is getting fat”. I felt terrified and in trouble. At that age, I knew how fearful she was of being overweight (she wasn’t!) …
One Saturday morning, I decided to pop-up into the office to check on the teams that were working that day. The office was usually half-empty on the weekends but that day it was louder than ever. There were two guys, Alex, an African-American and Joe, a Latino, in the middle of a screaming match across aisles. Alex, was clearly shaken and in so much rage that I pulled him aside quickly to talk.
I wanted to understand what had happened that got him so upset, and he told me verbatim:
“Mari, that guy called me a “N****r”.
I am terrified now by the thought of not knowing the implications of the “N-word” at that time. I was a leader in the office, managing operations of hundreds of people and I didn’t understand why that word caused Alex to feel the way he was feeling. …
This is Part III of a series of posts where I’m sharing the three biggest takeaway lessons from The Challenger Sales book. I can say that this last part of the book was the one I enjoyed the most. My career has been in Leadership Development, so I find anything that has to do with that topic captivating, especially if it comes with data in hand.
Check Part I: How to Take Control of the Customer Conversation
Check Part II: 6 “Discrete” Steps to Close Sales
“The front-line sales manager in any sales organization is the fundamental link between strategy and execution — this is where change initiatives and sales force transformation live or die.” …
A very good friend of mine once told me:
“Good for you, that you are living your life, but, you know, your “life style” is not something to be spread around with the world!”
Even though I do not question my friend’s intentions (because I believe she was trying to protect me), that conversation has stayed with me for over 3 years.
And what does “life style” even mean? Is that a way to separate brave people that go after their happiness first, before pleasing others fearful of what “society” will think?
I wouldn’t trade one single thing in my journey. My life is absolutely perfect the way it is. There have been tough lessons, heart-aches, confusing times, but also a lot of support, love, and joy. …
Self-accountability is one of my biggest values, but throughout the years I have never been this consistent and passionate about working out. I don’t remember having this much fun either. It has a lot to do with the setting created by our amazing trainer, absolutely. It also has a lot to do with having someone right next to me pushing me, encouraging me to fun competition, holding me accountable constantly.
Every Sunday night I get a text from my trainer Amisha that among other things say: “Hey Hey Hey Mariana! How many camps are you committing to this week?”
My reply is always the same: 4! …
There are many real Wonder Women out in the world. Here is one that most of us have not heard of: Lupe Gonzalo. She dreamed, she hoped, she was told she couldn’t. She was mistreated, disrespected, abused. She stood up, stronger. She fights every day to win small and big battles. She has changed the world to be a better place to exist: for herself and many others.
And she keeps fighting…
Last week we attended #TogetherLive2017. An amazing event where incredible women shared their stories of growth, love, fear and lots of bravery
We experienced Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach telling their story. How they met, the connection the felt and what they had to do to create the life they wanted and protect the love they share. Also, Luvvie Ajayi, who tells a story of life surprises after following her passion of writing in the most entertaining and funny way. …
Last Sunday afternoon my 6-year old niece was, as always, trying to come up with something to entertain herself. I have to admit; her projects often make me lose my patience. She spills water all over, plays with food coloring around the house and creates many messes, and not only that, but she doesn’t enjoy the cleaning part, so it can become a battle to “encourage” her to clean after herself.
An idea came to her head. She rushed to check the pantry. With a focused face, walked towards the stool in the living room and brought it to the kitchen. …
Many companies focus on creating these external motivators with the intention to keep people wanting to come back to work and rock performance out, but, just like a new car, after a few miles and days or driving it, excitement does die out.
The reality is that the reason why each one of your employees are not engaged may vary.
Do you want to improve how things are happening in your organization?
Here are 4 incredibly effective ways to get things moving in the right direction, boost performance and encounter more smiley faces at the office. …
After knowing, working and learning about so many people, their lives, their stories, paths not taken, dreams not followed, lives not fully lived, I find myself writing this letter, to each of you. You, the one that I have already crossed paths with, you the one that I will someday get to know and you, the one that I might never meet but is going through this experience we call “being human”.
This is for you.
I see you walking around, looking down, terrified to be on the spot. Hiding behind half-way smiles, behind an “I’m okay”. Hoping to pass by, unseen, not wanting to “bother” anyone. Caring for how others feel instead of how you feel. Wanting to help everyone but forgetting to help yourself. …
If you have read some of my past posts, you probably remember the story of my friend Ellen and the step she took to give her boss feedback around the way she was leading the team. Today, I can’t tell you that Ellen’s boss became the leader that Ellen would wish to have, but the conversation did move things in better directions.
How often do you speak to others about your bad boss or hear stories about your friends and family’s bad experiences with their bosses? It is common. Very common! …