Wait. No. I can almost see the case for married people get more parties and presents than single…

God only knows. I mean, I like the idea of celebrating oneself and self-love and all that jazz, but self-marriage? It feels ridiculous. If anything, I would call it a debutante party: you’re starting a new and important phase in your life, and you still get to dress up!

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.