What to do if someone verbally attacks you
Personal attacks are extremely juvenile in nature. Some people, when they find this tactic works, will continue to personally attack anyone and everyone that they “perceive” has wronged them. It does work, it’s also called bullying and most experts in domestic violence will tell you the same.
Here’s what I do when someone personally attacks me. Let’s say for arguments sake, that what they are saying is true. They have dug up the worst about me. The dirt that I thought was going to the grave. What do I do? Well, I own it. Just because I have made mistakes in my past, doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. It means that I have made some bad choices and the difference is whether or not I change for the better. Additionally, I don’t owe anyone who attacks me an explanation for anything.
So go ahead, rip me to shreds. I own it. Here’s what you don’t know.
Childhood Trauma is the real deal. Just ask Bessel van der Kolk, a psychiatrist with over 40 years researching this. So yeah, that plus an immature brain, doesn’t usually make for genius choices. Sure, not everyone that experiences trauma makes the bad choices I have made, but having childhood trauma ups your risk. Still, I own it. And FYI — check the ACES TOO HIGH and see that mental health problems and childhood averse experiences are an epidemic. Like, statistically worse than any terrorist attack.
You know what else I own? I’ve been reinventing myself and working on myself to make myself become a kinder and more empathetic human being. I am not perfect at acting this way 100% of the time. Not even close. However, I keep on trying, and that, is all that I can do. It’s all we can all do.
So, here’s what you do when personally attacked.
If it’s untrue — don’t even respond to ridiculousness. You know what you’ve done. Don’t feed the bully. However, if you must prove the ridiculousness, feel free to offer audio, video and other photographic evidence to all social media — that should speak for itself.
Own it if it’s true. “Hey, you’re right, but that was in the past, I have done things to change.” And don’t back down. Remain calm. Sometimes, you just have to walk away when presented with a person that does nothing but personally attack.
You can’t tear down someone trying to come up. Because, well…that’s just a bully.
