Why I Love Questions (And You Should, Too!)
Have you ever stopped to think about who you converse with the most in the whole wide world? Life is made up of experiences and a majority of the time these experiences are made up of conversations.
I am a firm believer that the quality of our conversations are directly proportionate to the quality of our relationships and the quality of our relationships are directly proportionate to the quality of our lives. I will always stand by the belief that deeper more meaningful relationships produce a deeper more meaningful life.
I also believe that our ability to have deep meaningful conversations with others begins with the ability to have deep meaningful conversations with ourselves—in a loving positive manner.
How we feel about ourselves in private shows in public. The way we show up in the world is an outer representation of our internal situation. I define internal situation as our feelings toward ourselves which is made up of our beliefs, values, and how well we live in harmony with our own personal beliefs and values.
All of that internal stuff comes from one place—the answers to the questions we ask ourselves on a regular basis.
When you think about the answer to the question of who you converse with the most, the answer is simple and universal—we all converse with ourselves the most. We have a constant inner dialogue happening, even as I am writing this post I am having a conversation with myself about the most effective way to convey these ideas via written word.
Here’s the thing—the human brain is absolutely remarkable and will give you an answer to any and every question you ask it. The answers it gives you are largely based on past experiences and results as that is what it has to reference when searching for data.
The exception to this rule and the thing that makes us humans absolutely unique and amazing are our emotions and our ability to internalize them to influence our feelings and thoughts.
If you’re in an incredibly happy state when you ask yourself a question, chances are good that the answer that your brain will come up with will be on a happy vibration as it will be influenced by your emotional state.
Conversely, if you are in a sad, negative, or depressed state you can bet that the answer you come up with will be along those lines—pretty shitty to say the least.
The point is to be aware of the conversations you have with yourself on a regular basis and to pay close attention to the state you are in when asking yourself important questions. The answers that you consistently give yourself become your beliefs and your beliefs have a way of influencing your emotions and decisions which directly influence your results.
Your beliefs also influence how you show up in the world because what you believe to be true about yourself is what others see in you. If you believe that you are an amazing unique person with tons of value to give and the desire to share others will see that and be attracted to you.
The best way I know to create those empowering beliefs is to consciously control the questions you ask yourself and the state you are in when you ask them.
You will come up with an answer 100 percent of the time, so you might as well ask empowering questions and support yourself in developing powerful beliefs that will serve you and help you in achieving your goals. Set up the rules so that you win the game.
Ask yourself questions such as:
How can I make this work?
What can I do to help change this?
What can I learn from this?
How can I add even more value?
And my personal favorite —
What am I grateful for?
Of course there are tons of empowering questions that you can ask yourself and you should ask yourself the ones that best serve you. Asking yourself questions that excite, inspire, and empower you is the best way that I know to get better answers that will change your beliefs and change your life.
We all have all the answers we need, it just takes the right questions to bring them out so that we can recognize and use them.
We should all focus on having better conversations with ourselves. We should treat ourselves in self-conversation as we would treat others that we highly respect when we converse with them.
We get what we tolerate. If we refuse to tolerate treating ourselves in a lesser way then others will no longer treat us that way either. The magical thing is that we will then no longer tolerate the people that try to treat us less than we believe we deserve to be treated.
Focus on the questions and conversations you have with yourself and try to consciously have them when you are in a peak state. Control what you have the power to control and you’ll start to automatically show up differently in the world.
We owe it to ourselves to live in or highest most fulfilled state and to show others what that looks like so that they actively support what we know and believe to be true—when you take the lead, they always will.