The Pretentious Efforts of a Teenage Girl

a metaphor for how I feel

In this era it has somehow become prominent to “not give a fuck”.

To further be apart of the generation that got this mantra rolling, I feel increasingly self conscious of my actions on a daily basis.

Sadly, it is now admirable to not care.

Behind closed doors, my emotions runneth over. God, I care so much it hurts my damn heart. I want to give my all for everything I do, and to everybody I meet. I want my endeavors to reflect the stars that gleam in my eyes. I want the people in my life to feel the infinite love flowing from my soul.

Yet here I am, surrounded by so many people not giving a fuck.

I don’t want to appear spineless because I’m scared to willingly admit my passion to the public. I feel like it appears as a joke more than anything.

Ha, ha. Look at me, practicing ballet at home. *so cool*

Oooh I’m reading a book by choice. *impressive*

Whoa, putting effort into reaching out to somebody. *so outgoing*

These are constant thoughts running through my head. I feel as if the public condemns me in a weird, unspoken sense.

Here is where my backbone finally stiffens up.

Rather, to not care about what you do with your life, reapply that concept and don’t care about what other people see you do with your life.

Read a book in a park.

Take yoga classes.

Put yourself out there because no matter how weird you may think you look to others, you are ultimately the only one suffering from limiting yourself.

It does not make you lame to work on yourself, to create an outlet for your mind, to express who you are. To hell with people who don’t have a second thought about putting effort into their life, because they are not you.

The only thing holding you back from ultimate happiness is the boundaries you draw for yourself.