This piece is very poignant, and, despite the last paragraph, very hopeful. I think it highlights how much we long to fit in when we struggle to find ourselves lovable.

To be sure, I don’t think society “tells” us to be a certain way; rather, I think many influential institutions in society make it very, very easy for us to turn our attention away from ourselves and onto certain “attractive” features (e.g. beauty, size, popularity, etc.).

In other words, many institutions in society (society is NOT homogeneous) make it easy for us to take the easy route of neglecting our own individuality and building our own “identity” based on certain features. As we know, however, the easy route is not the best route, and often it comes with many long-term consequences — insecurity, disorder, instability, etc.

The best thing that a parent can do for her child is not tell her that size doesn’t matter, but SHOW her that features like size, beauty, popularity, money, etc. do not have to matter; that there are ways she can develop and appreciate her own individuality — the unique set of qualities, of desires, that only she can express; and that these ways are attainable.

Your child’s sense of individuality is the most precious thing you can nurture — not validating her insecurities.