Q2: This is such a big question. I think in most instances we are an amalgamation of all three: our environment, the expectations placed on us and the personal decisions we make.
Our environment seems to have the most influence in early years. The home into which we are board, the family that surrounds us, the community we are surrounded by are largely decided by our parents and the situation they are in. Our environment can have a large impact on expectations and decisions.
As much as I try not to, I have made judgements about students based on the homes they come from. “Have you talked to the parents?” Is a question that comes up in discussions with my colleagues. It’s one the directly shows bias toward the expectations placed on the student. Mom’s a doctor; that kid is going to be smart. Dad was 16 when the kid was born; that kid isn’t up to much. It is terrible, but in many cases, it is true. We set those expectations on the kids and that is what they live up to.
The environment a person in surrounded by can limit the choices they have, such as friends, education opportunities, job opportunities. When you take those limited choices and couple them with the expectations we place on a kid, they see a very narrow pathway. Those coming from successful families with high expectations see more choices in front of them. Kids coming from economically depressed backgrounds with lower expectations placed on them will see very few choices.
Seeing a narrower range of choices doesn’t mean that others aren’t available, they just need support to see them. I’ve taken a fairly negative perspective thus far, but just because you come from a specific set of circumstances doesn’t mean you are lock on your path, be it good or bad. Given all the right environment, expectations and making the right choices doesn’t mean you’ll always come out on top. More importantly, if everything is negative, it doesn’t mean you are doomed to fall.
It is easy to stay down, just follow the path presented to you. But it can be just one change that can make all the difference. Most crucially, if you can connect with the right person or program your whole world can change. I have seen many instances where a student has connected with a specific teacher or program and has seen an enormous increase in potential. The thing is, it has to be the right person. Someone can try to help someone with every good intention, but make no difference. But that person that you find a connection with can make a world of difference.
I guess this fits to the idea that we can easily internalize negative expectations from anyone, but to make positive expectations our own we have to value where the expectation is coming from and make a real connection with who or what it comes from.