The hard reality of overcoming cancer — and why that needs to change.

The most terrifying moment of my life was triggered by eight letters: Leukemia.
The sentence it was nestled into played like a broken record for the months that followed: “You have Leukemia”.
Did I know what it was? The Oncologist asked.
I knew. It was a blood cancer. People died from it. Am I going to die from it? Those thoughts swirled around my head like the roundabouts I’d spin on as a child.
I never thought it would happen to me. I’d heard the statistic that around 39.6% of men and women are diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives. But that’s just a rough estimate, a below-half percentage.
Why do I have to add to the statistics? Why me?
Learning that you have cancer of any form is an utterly devastating time. I cannot fathom the idea that anyone could ever learn that they have cancer and just mentally treat it like a small virus.
You may see that on the surface, but inside every sufferer is a scared child desperately wanting the roundabout to stop spinning.
That being said, in every sufferer’s journey — and, really, it is a journey — we all go through moments of saying: “When this is over, I’m living life to the fullest”.
When you believe you’re staring death right in the face (even if you’re not), your life suddenly feels like it’s coming under scrutiny — and the worries that used to stop you from sleeping are very quickly shrunk into nothingness.
I dreamed of life after cancer every single day. I’d dedicate even more time to watersports, wakeboarding, golf, cycling and running. I’d cherish every moment with my family and friends, ensuring they were top priority in every single work-related decision I made.
The life I’d lead after cancer couldn’t be more fulfilled, I promised.
Then came the two words I’d been holding onto and waiting for through every single painful, exhausting and emotionally draining treatment: “All clear.”
Before I go on, I’d like to note that I know how lucky I am. I am the luckiest man.
The survival rates for Leukemia average around the 60% mark. I’ve met people who haven’t made it — we all have.
However, there is something that everyone needs to know when it comes to cancer: even when you’re in the clear, it’s not easy.
The misconceptions of surviving cancer
A lot of attention in books, TV shows, films, music, art and theatre is drawn — often, very accurately — to the life that cancer sufferer’s experience.
Of course, it’s important that the media focuses on what the 36.9% experience — it’s how charities, medical institutions and research funds can get the money that they so desperately need to save lives. It also enables the empathy that sufferer’s need (even when they say they don’t) from their loved ones.
However, what’s missed from these media depictions, is the reality of life after cancer.
Between 25% and 40% of cancer survivors suffer from depression after their experience. Whilst there are moments during cancer when you feel like your world will fall apart, the most prominent quality every sufferer develops is enormous strength and courage.
Yet, when the teary, nerve-trembling appointments turn into regular “still all clear” check ups, your barrier of strength weakens as your inner protector is needed a little less — and suddenly it’s time to care for your mental health, too.
Finding a new normal
I’m not the person I was before cancer. No one is.
You may return to the same job, sleep in the same bed and see all the same places, but to you, everything’s different.
The things that you couldn’t wait to get back to doing, like having a BBQ with friends, don’t have the same feeling that kept you going during those harrowing chemotherapy treatments.
Perhaps it’s because you’re hearing stories about what you “missed when you were… away” or you feel like you’ve missed seeing your loved ones go through a life change and feel out of the loop.
Normal isn’t normal anymore. And that’s ok in the long run — it’s for the best, actually — but you can’t just flick a switch that’ll make you instantly accept it.
Feeling instantly better
Cancer is exhausting. Physically and mentally exhausting.
When I was waiting to hear those precious “all clear” words, I pinned my hopes on them being the eight lettered angel to fight of that eight lettered devil who got me into this state in the first place.
“All clear” would return that dynamic energy that “Leukemia” had taken away.
Of course, it’s not true. But every cancer sufferer I met on my journey had moments when they believed it too.
The truth is, I didn’t feel instantly better after that weight had been lifted.
The curing poison still ran around my body, just to make sure it had fought every bad cell off and its side effects still knocked me down from time to time.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight.
Fear of recurrence
The fear it’ll come back can be crippling.
Your new normal is piecing together — you can taste again, digest again, revitalise your energy again. But you are not free, not yet.
It can return as quickly as it arrived. Your risk is even higher than before.
We can’t go around living in fear — we all know that — but it doesn’t stop it from knocking on the door from time to time.
Why I’m creating Care After Cancer
As some of you may or may not know, this year I announced the creation of a new charity, ‘Care After Cancer’.
During the course of my journey as a cancer sufferer, I was in awe of the amount of support there is from charities and the medical institutions who cured me. Most notably, Bloodwise was a saving grace at many points.
However, when “all clear” turned out to not be a magic wand and instead began another tumultuous experience of fear, isolation and survivor’s guilt, I noticed that the resources available for survivors is somewhat limited.
Again, I’m not knocking the health services — they saved my life.
I found that the most overriding misconception of surviving cancer was the belief that it would lead to the immediate fulfillment of the life that pulled me through the ordeal in the first place.
It took an enormous amount of support from friends and family to get me to a place where my life couldn’t be more fulfilled.
Again, I’m a very lucky man.
Care After Cancer is for every survivor facing these post-treatment misconceptions, giving them the tools they need to embrace the life that kept them fighting.
All I hope is that it helps those who’ve been through the most unimaginable time, finally get the happiness that they deserve.
Mark Cushway is the CEO of the Inspired Group of companies and is passionate about employee welfare, engagement and motivation. Connect with Mark on Twitter and LinkedIn. This blog post is also available as a podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud.
