just a small backstory to the ghost, if any of you remember me

To my last dance,

I may not be qualified to talk about this or even qualified to write in such an esteemed forum such as this but it’s something I’ve been holding inside for the longest time.

a bit about me to give this some context:

I started gaining a serious interest in music after playing the video game Guitar Hero, and even though I was only about 11 years old at the time, I would often try pen some melodies and passages during my concert band class in middle school. The creativity I felt running through my head was somewhat of a high and I did not want it to end one bit. Going from being the last kid who got stuck on clarinet because he didn’t turn in a slip on time to second chair in a competing high school orchestra was something I could not believe happened after the amount of time i spent noodling (and getting scolded for playing out of turn) and writing my own little arrangements for my friends and i to play.

During my time in the orchestra, i began picking up bass lessons from a classmate and my time learning from him evolved into me learning the guitar from general knowledge of how notes on the bass’s fret board were laid out. I used this new skill to audition for the jazz band and I made it into the intermediate class on my first go. Getting a bit more creative with this intricate object at my disposal, i began to record myself playing on my PC and wrote small four cord songs that i could solo to and improvise to improve my skills for class.

Back to now

During the time of the electronic music boom in the early 2010’s i saw the same program i used to record being used to create some of the best songs i have ever listened to and i started to learn how to produce full songs and got my hands dirty with sound designing, lyric writing and voice acting/engineering. When i started to finish and render my songs, i saw soundcloud.com as a medium for publishing and was astounded at how many user would listen and give me feedback on my music, from constructive criticism to harsh attacks on my style and work, every little bit helped me shape not only what they wanted to hear, but what i wanted to hear in music.

While the numbers my songs brought in were small in comparison to professional artists, i still saw them as a jumping point and learned how to mix songs correctly with a friend and started side work as a dj for parties, events and weddings. Having my fair share of experiences doing this line of work, one small but constant thing would always remind me of what i was really doing and that one thing was a song request. Constantly being asked to play a song was something every party dj has to put up with and i saw it as a reminder of my spot in the field and how i was nothing more than a glorified ipod being paid to play the same generic music to a drunken dance floor. The ten years of music experience and the gigantic ego i had led me to quit that position and i started looking around for local acts to let me open for them in underground shows, even going as far as doing it for free just to satisfy the lust i felt for being the center of attention.

Drum and Bass along with deep house and tech house became my forte in the performing world and i would always have the crowd pumped up and ready for the headlining act at sunset. While they would thank me and ask for a name so they could promote me, i never gave them anything more than, “im just the resident dj” and leave it at that. Being a minor, i was not allowed to stay for the entirety of the shows as my city had a curfew and i could only hold up the “i had a study session at the public library” excuse for a few weeks since i started towards the end of the school year. Having to flee the scene at every noise complaint, i left virtually no trail of my presence except for the crowd’s claims of “there was some kid playing some really great songs before the guy we came to see went on”. This ghost-like habit i had led to my downfall in the scene as most of the performers were signed away to labels and talent agencies while i was never heard of. “yeah right, we’ve never heard of you” or “we get it, you want to be famous, but how could someone as young and un-experienced as you be who the crowd is talking about” were some of the more notable things i had heard the scouts tell me when i stepped up to claim what i had secretly been working for.

Seeing as how i would never be given an opportunity, i returned to the party scene where i still worked without a name, but felt a new sense of purpose every time someone would ask me to get the party started or ask to play their favorite song, rewarding me with a smile or a very loud “thank you” over the pounding of the speakers when i did it correctly . Money was no longer what i wanted and giving a personality to an event i played at was my new project.

That kid you last heard on July 4th, 2013 at the house party in the hills of southern california is still playing songs for everyone and is trying to find a way to win you all back

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