21 Questions for Lauren About Sex and What She Most Enjoys in Bed
She opens up on swinging, oral sex, facials, masturbation, gang bangs, cock size, sex toys and more. Plus we do a lightning round.
Recently, I asked my wife, Lauren, 21 questions about sex and am excited to share her responses. To make this as fun as possible, Lauren answered the questions as bluntly as possible.
By way of background, Lauren is 49 and bisexual and was born in Sweden. We’ve enjoyed polyamory for 25 years and have been swinging for 14 years. She’s been with over 450 women and men and counting (because I’m hetero, my output is half hers). Enjoy!
I happen to know you really enjoy being orally pleasured. Do you most prefer being pleasured by men or by women?
[Giggling] Who doesn’t enjoy being orally pleasured? I much prefer to be pleasured by you since you’re my husband and that’s quite an intimate act — and also by Piper, too [our polyamorous lover]. In general, women do tend to be better at giving than men are — I think that’s because women are more patient, far more familiar with how to really, truly please another female, and generally more sensuous. So, I guess if you pressed me, I’d have to say women are better at giving oral sex.
Do you most prefer pussy or cock?
[Again giggling] My, oh my, that’s a blunt question and it really overlooks a lot of things that make for enjoyable sex. But I’ll answer your question. It depends, and it really matters whose cock or pussy, as you say, it is. A woman’s vagina is far prettier than a man’s penis. In general, though, when it comes to playtime, a big, thick, throbbing dick that’s oozing pre-cum is delicious and feels so good inside me — no doubt about it. I’m going to say I prefer that.
What’s your favorite way to be fucked by a guy?
In doggy-style — you know that — and I like it hard and deep. Almost as hard and definitely as deep as you can go. I like to be spanked and really I’m good with however you want to give it to me. Treat my like your whore and I’ll enjoy it and so will you.
Do you consider yourself a slut? If yes, what does that mean to you?
Yes. For sure. To me, a slut is a woman who’s comfortable with her sexuality and enjoys expressing it in lots of ways and isn’t afraid or ashamed to do that. A lot of women have desires and fantasies about the very things we as a couple do. To me, that’s the essence of being a slut. So, yeah, I’m a slut.
The key to giving a world-class blowjob?
What I’ve noticed over the years is that when I play with a guy’s balls while blowing him, his pleasure goes up exponentially. I just massage the balls while I’m sucking on the guy. Guys also seem to respond to being deep-throated. But the big one is eye contact; they like to be pleasured by a woman with the confidence to look them in their eyes.
Your view on a woman sucking her man’s cock?
My view on that? Hmmmm. I think a woman should, as you phrased it, suck her man’s cock, yes. Sucking cock is fun. Some women may have experienced past trauma so I’m suggesting it’s a good thing for a woman to blow her man if it’s a healthy sexual expression for her. It’s important, I think, for a woman to do that because A) he loves it and B) it’s good — and I know this will a controversial statement — for a woman to occasionally submit to her man. By the way, the same applies to guys going down on their women — they should do it.
Before we met, ever give any casual-sex blowjobs to guys you didn’t have sex with? If so, how many guys and any BJs that were scandalous?
Yah. Maybe 12 or 13 guys? Maybe 20 [laughing]? As far as scandalous, my first year in medical school, there was a guy and he was really into me and I found him attractive. One night, we were at a party and a bit drunk and in a guest bedroom we started to make out. It all led to me blowing him, and then he went down on me, but nothing else. We kept it a secret; otherwise we would have gotten in huge trouble and his girlfriend might have found out. I’m not proud to have done that with a guy with a girlfriend.
In college, I did go through a phase where I didn’t mind blowing guys if I liked them. It didn’t feel like a big deal in those years. Lots of girls were doing the same thing.
Super curious. Did you swallow, spit or something else with those guys?
Swallowed every time.
Lucky guys! Most important thing for a guy — or gal — to do to amp up your pleasure when eating your pussy?
Definitely give my clit the attention it needs but don’t obsess over it. Mix up your tongue play and lick me deeply and enjoy me. Finger me…maybe with two or three fingers. Play with my nipples. I require clit stimulation to orgasm but I like some variety down there. Mix it up. And if I cum, don’t stop. Keep going so I can orgasm again in your mouth.
What’s the one thing you enjoy now that you never thought you’d like? And tell us why.
Anal sex and really all things anal. I never saw that coming but watching you and Allison do it [have anal sex] all those years got me curious and finally I was ready to try it with you. Not all women enjoy anal sex and that’s understandable. For me, it feels really good, especially when I’m masturbating while you’re in [my ass]. It’s an amazing feeling but I do prefer it softly and not too terribly deep and with lots and lots of lube — otherwise it can hurt.
And you like me to cum in your ass. Why?
I don’t know. Just a good way to wrap it all up, I guess? Honestly, it’s just hot.
If you’re giving a guy head, would you prefer to swallow or let him go for the facial?
Depends on a lot of factors, like if I’m able to get cleaned up afterward. I much prefer a guy cum in my mouth and I’m totally OK with swallowing — you know that. I actually enjoy that, and the taste doesn’t usually bother me. I’m OK if he wants to cum on my face but only if I can get cleaned up. Also, he needs to avoid my eyes, up my nose and ideally my hair.
What’s it like when you get a massive facial?
I like it so long as it’s not in my eyes or in my nose. Guys like the facial; I get it. I enjoy feeling it happen and knowing it brings the guy pleasure.
What’s it like when a guy cums in your mouth? And tell us about the taste?
It’s gratifying. It’s a turn-on to know I made him feel that good. Taste-wise, it can vary but typically salty, sometimes pungent, always warm, occasionally bitter. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Goes down smoothly. I like it, and I really enjoy showing the guy what he just gave me before it goes down. A girl can choose to love cum or hate it. I’m not going to say it’s as good as Bailey’s Irish Cream; it isn’t. I decided early on to love cum even if it’s kind of not so delish.
You’re at over 450 sex partners and counting. Will you surpass 1,000?
Probably not — not at my age now.
What’s your favorite sex toy and why?
That’s a hard one to answer. I like them all for different reasons. For masturbating, if I had to choose, I’d say our vibrating dildo. It hits my G-spot and also pleasures my clit and, overall, it feels really good inside me. I love it. For fun with you, our wand vibrator feels so good on my clit during sex, and I definitely also like our anal plug, too.
Here’s a loaded question: In your view, are most women straight, bisexual or bicurious?
That’s an impossible one to answer. I can only offer my own experience. I was born bisexual and since I was a teenager have practiced a bisexual lifestyle. With only a handful of exceptions, every woman we’ve been with over the years has enjoyed other women, including me — but ours is a bit of a skewed population because of our non-traditional lifestyle. More broadly, I think almost every person is bicurious to an extent and many of us, if in the right circumstances, might act on that curiosity, which is different than being born a certain way. I think probably the vast majority of women are bicurious, but maybe not?
What’s your favorite part of the swinger lifestyle?
Oh, that’s easy: The variety and excitement. If I had to choose something specific, I do really enjoy swapping with other couples. I love, love, love to watch you with another wife who’s super hot and into you. Mmmm.
That’s hot! Favorite kind of group sex situation and why?
All depends on my mood but being with you and Piper can’t be beat. I get to experience all at the same time the two people I most love. Beyond that, I like it when you and I have sex with another couple.
Best and worst parts of being gang-banged?
Oh my god. That’s an interesting question. As you know, that’s a rare occasion but it happens. Let me see….. This is going to sound kind of bizarre but I enjoy being used by a lot of guys who are taking turns on me wherever they desire. It’s just so hot so long as they’re behaving themselves, being respectful and not taking any liberties. The worst part? When they all start cumming on me, most of the time on my face or breasts or in my mouth, can be a bit much but I take it in stride. Just keep the cum out of eyes and nose.
The most guys you’d allow at once for a gangbang and why?
I’ve had five guys all at once a few times. The max I’d go is probably seven or eight.
Does cock size matter? Be honest, and I promise I won’t tell Patrick what you say (note: Patrick is a husband in our circles and he has an 8" dick).
Yes. A man with a cock that I can feel inside me and that’s long and girthy enough to hit my G-spot and really work me is going to be more enjoyable than a man with a smaller cock. Just a fact. Your size (7” long and 5.5” around) is big and perfect. You mentioned Patrick. Patrick has a huge cock, as you know— a little over 8" and even girthier than you— and it’s fun but there are limitations to what a girl can do with him (no anal and his size leaves some women’s vaginas sore, as examples). I’d rather be you —quite big but not too big — than Patrick (so big that there are limitations).
Now for the lightning round. To start: Mmf or Ffm threesome?
Ffm.
Ffm or fff threesome?
Ffm.
Doggy-style or reverse cowgirl?
Doggy-style.
If you could be a porn star and your identity remain secret, would you?
It would be kind of fun for sure. But, no — I have to live with myself.
Damn. Don’t you think it would be fun to post all of our sex tapes online?
Let’s not go there……
Earlier, you kind of waffled on how many guys you blew before we met but didn’t have sex with. You said 12 or 13, or maybe 20. How many?
Probably a little more than 20.
Exhibitionism or voyeurism?
Exhibitionism.
Five guys or ten guys?
Five.
One woman or two women?
Two.
One word to describe having sex with another woman.
Sensuous.
Double penetration or triple penetration?
Double.
Your best physical feature?
My breasts.
Spank or whip?
Spank.
Your favorite porn star and why?
Lilu Moon. We like the same things (sexually). Plus, she’s so sensuous. I also like Angelika Grays.
Would you have sex with them?
Yes.
The one part of your body that, if stimulated, gets you really hot and horny.
Easy. My nipples.
The one thing every woman should consider doing in bed?
Anal.
Number one advice for couples wanting to spice up their sex life?
More unplanned, random quickies.
Will you ever stop shaving your pussy bald?
Maybe when I’m an old woman.
Thank you, Lauren, for your insights.
