When Others Know You’re Swingers
Lauren’s sister and several of our non-swinger friends know about our lifestyle. Disclosure was an important step for us.
Much of the time, swingers keep their lifestyle top secret from their family and non-swinger friends. But I’m here to tell you that it’s actually not always a bad thing if others know you swing. It can be liberating, because hiding important aspects of who you are can be exhausting and defeating.
For years, Lauren and I, like many married couples that swing, operated with secrecy about our lifestyle. The thought of others knowing we swap with and have sex with other couples, engage in sex parties, and allow women in our bed (polyamory) terrified us because we worried they’d judge us.
Even some of our closest friends didn’t know we swing or that Lauren is bisexual. We lived a double life while, at the same time, Lauren remained in the closet about her bisexuality except with our friends in the lifestyle.
One life was as a married couple that seemed not unlike the average couple living next door, though there have been persistent rumors about us over the years among neighbors seeing us in our club attire. The other life — our life with Lauren’s female lovers who over time became our polyamorous lovers, and our life as swingers — remained a secret from all who knew us…except the folks in our swinger circles who started to become good friends with whom we could have authentic, accepting relationships. Most of them, though, like us, kept their lifestyle a secret from others, too.
In 2015, unable to continue to live happily in our double life, we decided to open up about our lifestyle with a few people in particular, starting with our closest non-swinger friends and even Lauren’s own sister. We did this without violating the cardinal rule of swinging, and that’s to protect the confidentiality of what happens in the bedroom with others.
Surprisingly, they were almost all supportive of our swinging and asked questions out of their own curiosity. Lauren’s sister, ever the perceptive one, had already suspected we were swingers from observing our lifestyle. She said there were a few clues:
- We attend “parties” almost every weekend. She started to wonder what these parties were all about…..
- She once saw some of the very revealing dresses hanging in Lauren’s part of our closet, and it occurred to her that few wives and moms would dress that way unless for a specific reason.
- She’d inadvertently discovered we were members of a swingers club in our city.
She didn’t, however, know Lauren was bisexual and that we practiced polyamory. She was just glad her sister told her and she herself shared with Lauren that she’d had a one-off sexual experience with another woman in college but found that she’s hetero after all. It’s amazing what people will share!
A few of Lauren’s friends, upon learning of our lifestyle, shared that they had secretly fantasized about swapping, sex parties, threesomes and other women and wondered how to share those desires with their husbands. Lauren gave them advice but none of them ever brought the matter to their husbands.
Interestingly, Lauren had some friends she disclosed our lifestyle to explicitly ask her if it was OK with her if they weren’t interested in swinging with us. We guess maybe they felt Lauren was feeling out possibilities with them? Once they were assured that wasn’t the case, the tension lifted.
Three of her friends, not including her sister, confessed they, too, had had sexual experiences with other women, mostly in college.
One friend of Lauren’s in particular, Jennifer, a divorced mother of two who at the time was 36 years-old (we were in our early 40s when Jennifer found out), seemed quite curious about the lifestyle. I had always found her attractive. When I say attractive, I mean sexually attractive.
“Could I join you all for a night and see what it’s like?” Jennifer bluntly asked.
“Join just us…or attend a larger party with us?” Lauren answered.
Hardly shy, Jennifer clarified that she’d prefer to join just Lauren and me to test the waters.
When Lauren brought Jennifer’s request to me, my initial reaction was one of excitement. As I said, I’ve always found her sexually attractive. She stands about 5'7" and was a D1 soccer player in college who has managed to stay very fit, despite the fact that she, too, like Lauren, is a busy doctor and also a single mom. She has long brown hair, a taut body with modest curves and an exquisite ass. She’s feisty as hell and comes across, when with her kids, as a real momma bear.
Lauren and I talked for days about whether or not to accept Jennifer’s request to join us. As Lauren explained, this was to allow Jennifer to test the waters with our lifestyle. As Jennifer knew I’d been snipped, she was open to full-on, no-restrictions sexual contact with both Lauren and me. Though not seeing herself as bisexual, she did see herself as bicurious, but her greatest interest was with multiple guys at once, a scenario Lauren and I could merely simulate as only one of us has a cock :-). She was very captivated by Lauren’s stories of what it’s like to have sex with 3 or more guys at once.
When I confessed to Lauren I found Jennifer sexually attractive, Lauren agreed with my assessment; Jennifer, she said, was quite hot.
So we invited Jennifer to join us for an overnighter. After arranging for her kids to stay with the grandparents, Jennifer agreed.
So how did the overnighter go? I can answer that easily by saying what was planned to be an overnighter turned into a full weekend. From Friday night through Sunday morning, we had near constant sex, stopping only to eat, use the bathroom and exercise. We even had sex in the shower.
We showed Jennifer a good time and she returned the favor in a big way with us. We double-penetrated her, my cock in her pussy and one of Lauren’s dildo’s in her ass, so she could see what it’s like with two guys. She loved it.
She let Lauren eat her pussy while I fucked Lauren. She came in Lauren’s mouth. Then she sucked my dick while Lauren ate her out again. Then she took the plunge and ate Lauren’s pussy while I fucked her. Watching Jennifer orally pleasure my wife was among the hottest things I’ve ever seen in my life.
That Jennifer, who can be so feisty that occasionally she can turn into a bitch only to respond in such a sexual way to Lauren and me — to fuck the way she fucks, to spend nearly 48 hours straight having sex over and over again with Lauren and me, to be such a sexual creature — was simply mind-blowing.
These days, a lot of our friends know our truth and it makes our relationships with them more authentic. Jennifer has mostly moved on from sex with us, though she and Lauren are still close friends, but we’ll still hook up with her a few times per year. In 2018, Jennifer did get her dream and I, along with two other guys at the only swingers party she ever attended, did fuck her. She’s never swung again except with Lauren and me.
