It’s all so quiet — deathly quiet!

It’s a worldwide community, and it’s deafeningly quiet. Let me help you with this one. How many people can you get in one room, without saying a word for two hours? The answer, write a program, collect the data and the report will tell you.

In the opening salvo — or, in other words, my first few hours in the office, not a word is spoken, apart from the odd whisper in a corner, or the office assistant making a racket with the delivery of the morning post. It’s all hush-hush.

I guess you could say, the real noise made is by the snazzy new applications, created by these unique people. The wheels of industry will now churn in a new way, making business more streamlined and improving efficiency.

I have vast experience in noisy environments. I like noise. I even decided to spend almost four years working in a college, surrounded, once a day, by the sound of more than 500 teenagers eating lunch — also a very messy sight.

But this was not deafening — it was white noise, and it could be blocked out. The stillness and serenity I am now surrounded by is oddly deafening and not so easy to block out — the sound of brains churning and developers, well, developing.

So where do I go from here? How do I control my need to waffle on about my weekend, or even how my son managed to remove his stabilisers on his bike — who will listen?

I guess this is where you, the reader comes into the reckoning. I am pinning my hopes on you. Using your valuable time to share some of my weekend highlights but I also promise to provide you with updates on the notable developments I may have — in my new job and a new career.