Why Do Girls Cheat? (Even if You’re a “Good” Boyfriend)
I got an email from a man a few weeks ago, asking me why women cheat — and it’s hard to blame him for asking this question.
It seems that everywhere we look, people are getting divorced left and right. Unfortunately, due to changes in our civilization and its culture over the past few generations, cheating has become incredibly common.
Some girls cheat on their boyfriends. Some girls cheat on their husbands. Some even cheat when their man is overseas — why is this, though? Is it because of our lack of morals as a civilization?
Or maybe the institution of “no fault divorce,” has made the playing field skewed in the advantage of women?
Well, in this article I’m going to break down some of the reasons why women cheat…and more importantly, what you can do about it.
First Off, Let’s Be Realistic
The first thing we should realize, is that most men would cheat if they had the chance…they just never get it. It’s easy for guys to talk shit about women cheating, but if you had 10 different girls texting you every night, how loyal do you think you’d be?
The fact of the matter is that probably 80% of guys would cheat if they had the opportunity to do so…but they don’t, because they’re unattractive and their game sucks.
Most guys are physically out of shape, mentally weak, lack a backbone, and have no integrity. Thus, they never even get the opportunity to cheat, because no women are into them. So it’s easy to complain about girls cheating, but again, I guarantee you, if a guy like this won the lottery tomorrow he’d be cheating with gold diggers left and right.
To be fair, there’s definitely a lot of guys that wouldn’t cheat, even if given the opportunity, though — and guys like this can often times have a hard time finding a girl who is willing to do the same. Why is this, though?
Why is it that women cheating is so common nowadays? You can try to ignore it if you like, but that’d be delusional — the fact of the matter is that girls cheat nowadays more than ever before, for several reasons:
- Their boyfriend is incredibly boring and weak
- Lack of social or financial ramifications
- They crave validation
- Sheer Boredom
There’s probably a lot more reasons that might cause girls to cheat, but these are the main ones. Now let’s look at each one in depth.
Reason #1 — Pathetic Men
In my opinion, the number one reason why women cheat is, you guessed it…because their man lets them. Do you know what happens if I’m sleeping with a girl, and she wants to be my girlfriend? I ask myself a very important question:
“Would this girl be loyal?” If the answer is no, I don’t make a commitment. It’s that simple.
I have firm boundaries, and if a girl gives off any red flags that show me she might cheat, I don’t bother committing to her — why would I? Girls that I’m sleeping with understand that I’m a man of abundance, and because of that, they respect me.
When a girl senses that you don’t have a backbone, she loses respect for you, and won’t get wet for you.
Having a backbone doesn’t mean to be a dick, but it means that you should have a high level of self-respect. You should hold yourself to a certain standard, and always put your masculine purpose before anything else (including your relationship).
In addition to most men being weak and emotionally immature, which is literally just asking for a girl to cheat on you, they also tend to stagnate. This happens a lot: some girl marries a stallion, and over the years he gets weak.
He starts watching TV all the time, drinking beer every night, stops working out, stops fighting for a cause, stops living life with passion…and then, what do you know, she cheats on him. Jeez, I wonder why?
It’s because he lost his zest for life, and he’s dooming her to a boring existence. Of course she’s going to crave passion, dude — women need passion in their relationships to be fulfilled.
Reason #2 — Few Consequences
It used to be that if a woman cheated on a man, she’d be ostracized by her community, would lose a lot of financial support, and would be judged very harshly. Now, however, with the institution of “no fault divorce,” and with garbage TV shows like “Desperate Housewives,” encouraging infidelity, cheating has become more normalized.
To be clear I’m not saying that women shouldn’t be able to support themselves financially or get a divorce if their husband is a dick — obviously I support women’s rights. But you can’t deny that no fault divorce and a lack of social consequences encourages cheating.
First off, the current divorce laws sometimes make it financially beneficial to divorce a man — just look at all of the high level celebrity divorces that have been going on recently. From Brendan Fraser to Tiger woods, it’s very clear that women can often times gain a lot from divorce.
The idea that a woman should get half of a man’s net worth is a remnant from back when women couldn’t work. It has no place in our modern society where women are completely free to go to college and get a job.
In addition to this, our society is hyper-feminine, and so it typically sides with the women in these cases — it wasn’t that she cheated or was selfish, it’s that he was a jerk! Women typically have more social power than men, and so often times a girl’s friends (and even a guy’s friends in some cases) will automatically turn against the man.
Contrast this with a few generations ago, where if ANYONE cheated, man or woman, they’d be branded as a horrible person. Is it any wonder that nowadays cheating is so much more common?
Reason #3 — They Crave Validation
Another big reason that women sometimes cheat on their boyfriends or husbands, is because they simply crave validation. Women want to feel like they’re sexy, and if you’re not making them feel that way, sometimes they’ll cheat.
This is why it’s extremely important you only get into a relationship with a woman you’re attracted to. Without physical attraction, cheating is inevitable.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t also choose a partner based on her other qualities (feminine energy, generosity, emotional stability, etc.), but in my opinion, without physical attraction everything else will wither away. Sometimes it isn’t even that you’re unattracted to her, though — sometimes it’s just you don’t give her enough validation.
A while back, I started to notice an interesting phenomena…guys that were studs, who were absolutely killing it with their dating lives, started having a ton of girls cheat DOWN! As in, she would be dating a guy earning $150,000 a year, who was jacked, confident, and had a harem of girls…and she would sleep with some chode at a club instead.
“What the fuck, Jon! That doesn’t make any sense,” you might ask…and on some level, you’re right.
But here’s the thing: sometimes you’ll get to a point where you’re sleeping with 5–6 different girls at once, and some of them feel like you’re neglecting them. You’re too busy with so many girls that you can’t give each one the attention that they want.
So, when that chode at the club is showing her attention and telling her how beautiful she is? She’ll think: “Well, he’s not as hot as Jon…but he’s here, and he’s not.”
In other words, if you’re not giving a girl enough attention, she may be tempted to find a guy who will — you can mitigate this by actually taking a relationship seriously and spending some quality time with your girlfriend.
To be fair, there’s some girls that actually want their own space. High performers, college athletes, and the like…they don’t have time to be smothered in attention 24/7, but some girls want exactly this. I recommend you learn game and find yourself an alpha female who doesn’t need constant validation.
Reason #4 — Hypergamy
Evolutionary biologists have been saying this for decades: men are polygamous and women are hypergamous. In other words, men want to impregnate as many women as possible, whereas women want to get pregnant with the best genes possible.
The reason for this, is that men have very little to lose from an evolutionary perspective, for being promiscuous. When a man sleeps with 50 women, he’s ensuring that he’ll have 50 offspring that will pass down his genetics.
Women, however? They sleep with one man and they’re potentially out of commission for a whole 9 months — this is where the idea of hypergamy comes from.
Hypergamy, like its name implies, simply means “marrying up,” or “mating up.” In other words, women want to get pregnant with the best genes possible, because it’s a huge time and energy commitment to raise a kid. So if she’s dating some fat schlub, and Mr. Brad Pitt comes along, what do you think her genes are going to tell her?
“Fuck this guy! He has the best genes!”
This is why, a lot of the time, you’ll see women cheating with a “lover,” and marrying a “provider.” They really want the alpha male to be both the lover and provider, but the thing with alpha males is they have so many options that they’re hard to tie down.
Now obviously some women will be loyal to the schlub, even if she does get the chance to sleep with Mr. Alpha Male, but the fact of the matter is that it’s going against her genetics. The solution? Just learn how to be an alpha male.
Develop characteristics typical of alpha males and you’ll minimize the chances of women cheating on you…and you’ll make women want to cheat with you.
Reason #5 — Sheer Boredom
We live in a culture of instant-gratification — we want something, and we want it now! And we’re hardly ever disappointed, with the inventions of cell phones, social media, the internet, and more…
The problem is, however, sometimes our brains get addicted to novelty and get bored if nothing exciting happens. This can spur some women on to cheat.
Sometimes girls cheat, because they’re just bored. You’re not doing anything fun with them, you’re not providing their lives with anything interesting, and they’re sick and tired of it. It’s really that simple.
The solution? Do fun things with your girlfriend. Go out to concerts, work out together, take up a hobby together, eat Thai food together, do whatever the fuck you want…just don’t fall into the same boring routines.
Today I discussed 5 reasons that women typically cheat — this is by no means an extensive list, but 99% of affairs likely happen because of these reasons. If you want to avoid being cheated on, the first thing you need to do is find yourself a loyal girl.
From there, it’s just a matter of maximizing your potential. Work to improve your financial life, work on yourself and become more confident, get in touch with your emotions so that you can have a genuine connection with her, and spend time with her.
It’s really not that hard. Just find a loyal girl, and work on yourself. This will prevent girls from cheating in 99.99% of scenarios.
Most guys fuck up with #1, and get fooled into thinking a girl is loyal — don’t have this happen to you. You need to vet HEAVILY before you get into a relationship, and the best way to get good at vetting women is to just go out and pull club girls. This will expose you to a large number of women, and you’ll start to notice some commonalities.
If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to let me know. And, as always, I’ll see you next time.
Originally published at www.masculinedevelopment.com on February 24, 2017.