Why Is It So Painful When I Feel the Breeze?

Farewell Long Beach, but I will visit.

Photo: Nick Ng

How could it brings so much joy
Could also inflict flaming pain;
A paradise, haven, zen place for some
But to me, it’s not quite the same.

Memories overlap like emotions of Sense8
To see — FEEL — past moments wherever I gaze;
They come to life, flicker, fleeting
As I stand there wondering if I am dreaming.

Around the corner, beyond glass doors
The afternoon sun glinting off the shore;
Trio of palm trees near that mass of sand
Feeling that familiar breeze over my hands.

Photo: Nick Ng

That breeze brings so much memories
Waves crash, her warmth, and her stories;
“Look at the waves,” she said.
“Do you see the moonlight on the crest?”

I feel her warmth like she’s cuddling to my right
Her soft sweater, the breeze, just like our first night;
Yet my conscience shatters my reverie
Why is it so painful when I felt the breeze?

How something pleasant could bring such pain?
Is this some trick played in my brain?
Like looking at a photo of a passed loved one
The memory of loss, it’s gone, it’s done.

Photo: Unknown, from BelmontShores.org

“It’s okay,” I tell myself, “to feel this way
Be kind to yourself, let your heart have its say;
Give memories a hug, let your mind write
To feel such emotions is a part of life.”